


Here I Go Again

by purecamp



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 02:23:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15109847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purecamp/pseuds/purecamp
Summary: A Mamma Mia! au in which Sharon's daughter, Trixie, is engaged and on a quest to find out who her real father is. Twenty years later, Sharon has to confront three ex lovers and prepare for her daughter's wedding. Chaos ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prologue

“Well, aren’t you something?”

“You little minx. I’m Justin. Thought I’d get out and see the world. You?”

“Sharon. I’m a local, I live here on the mainland. Ever visited that little island before?”

“No, I haven’t.”

 

“Well, you’re in luck. Follow me, Justin.”

“With you, I’d go anywhere.”

-

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?! Sorry?! Well that’ll fix everything, won’t it?! It’s all okay now, because you’re sorry!”

“Sharon, I-”

“Don’t say my name! Say hers instead! Engaged!”

“Listen, I-”

“I never want to see you again! Get off my island and never come back!”

-

“I’d hate to bother you, ma’am, but would you be able to tell me how to get to the island just over there? I’m a travel writer, but unfortunately I haven’t picked up any Greek yet.”

“Ma’am? Fuck, you sound like you’re addressing my mother. Sure I can take you to the island. Can I get a name to go with that rugged face?”

“Jaremi. Jaremi Carey.”

“Welcome to the island, Jaremi. I’m Sharon.”

-

“Has anybody seen Jaremi? I’ve been looking for him all morning.”

“You mean no one told you?”

“What?”

“He’s gone. Sailed off last night. Back to his travelling again.”

“O-Oh. Okay. No problem.”

-

“So you liked the show?”

 

“I loved it, Sharon! I sing and play a little myself. I love your costumes and everything.”

“You’re so sweet, uh…”

“Willam. Sweet?”

“Maybe sweet isn’t the right word. Could you be nasty, too?”

“You’re bad.”

“Fancy showing me?”

-

 

“I guess this is goodbye?”

“Fuck off, Willam. I don’t do goodbyes. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl.”

“Don’t I know it. So I’ll be seeing you?”

“Probably not. But for what it’s worth, have a nice life.”

“You too.”

-

“Hey I… I don’t think I’m gonna do the show tonight. You girls go ahead without me.”

“We’re a trio! We can’t be The Supermodels if we’re a duo!”

“Just do it!”

“Still not feeling good, darling? It’ll pass, I promise.”

“Yeah. B-But it’s not just that.”

“What else is stopping you?”

“My… my costume. It doesn’t quite… fit, anymore.”

-

“You disgust me.”

“Mother, please!”

“Eighteen?! And I did everything right, too. I was a good Catholic mother. Lord, what did I do to deserve a harlot for a daughter?!”

“Mother! I-”

“I’m not your mother! No daughter of mine would turn out to be a whore, a common slut! You’re on your own.”

-

“She’s perfectly healthy, congratulations.”

“She! Jinkx, Raja, did you hear that?!”

“She! You’re having a girl!”

“I… I can’t believe this. If only…”

“What, darling?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. I have you two and I have my girl. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

-

“I bet that asshole Justin will kick himself when he finds out what a beautiful daughter he’s missing out on-”

“Don’t say his name. Please. Not in front of Trixie.”

 

“So she’s never going to know about him?”

“Never. Look, she’s so small. She’s so pure.”

“She has the most tiny perfect little features…”

“She’s the image of you, Sharon. You to a T.”

“Don’t make the same mistakes I did, baby girl. Do it right, unlike your mama.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honey, Honey - I Have A Dream - Money, Money, Money

One wedding. One husband. One mom. Three dads. Trixie held her breath and gazed out at the horizon. The way that the sun reflected off the sea water, creating idyllic crystals in the midst of their paradise, was something Trixie had always loved. As a little girl, she’d stare from her bedroom window at the glittering ocean until the sun sank beneath the waves, and she would be put to bed. She would never not love staring out until her eyesight went blurry.

 

However, there was one thing she loved more, and that was when the gentle waves of the sea were interrupted by a boat carrying her two best friends. Stood at the dock, she bounced up and down, unable to control her excitement.

 

“TRIXIEEEEE!” Naomi yelled first, descending from the boat with ease. Her long, slender legs carried her over the wobbling of the little boat and onto the wooden planks with all the grace of an aspiring supermodel. Kim wasn’t so lucky. She stumbled, almost falling in, but managed to regain her balance and land on the dock with a slightly louder thud. Both girls opened their arms instantly and crushed Trixie in a sweaty hug.

 

It had been too long. Kim had been staying with her father and living away, whilst Naomi attended a girl’s school far off in Italy. Of course they’d kept in contact, but it was nothing in comparison to having her girls back again, in the flesh, under the baking Greek sun.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here!” Trixie beamed, regarding her friends. “Everything’s been so crazy! Mom is gonna be so happy to see you! Although I’m sure she’ll start to stress even more now that guests are arriving.”

 

Trixie’s mom, Sharon, was the definition of a workaholic. The moment she’d seen the ring, and Trixie’s huge smile, she’d taken the idea of a huge white wedding in her stride, as though it was something she did every day. Money was tight, and it added on a boatload of extra work, but she didn’t care.

 

Naomi smiled. “I can’t believe little Trix is getting hitched! I can’t wait to meet your guy and all his hot friends.”

 

Kim rolled her eyes. “You’re really thinking of your vagina right now? We’re here for Trixie’s wedding, not so you can flirt with some oiled up Greek dude!”

 

“That’s what Trixie did, isn’t it?” Naomi shrugged. “Let me find one, too.”

 

“Brian isn’t Greek.” Trixie told her, laughing. “He’s Russian-American.”

 

Part of Trixie couldn’t believe it - she was getting married. Sure, she’d always believed it would happen someday. Most people did it. But to be the first out of her friends - both of them uniquely beautiful, their complexions darker and smoother than Trixie’s - it was incredible. At only twenty, somebody had seen past her red cheeks, her freckles, her dimples and her clumsiness, and fallen hard for her. Brian was a blessing.

 

“Aw, you’re all lovesick! Your eyes are sparkling!” Naomi cooed.

 

“Ew.” Kim shook her head. “Keep your oily Greeks away from me.”

 

“That’s probably offensive.” Trixie said. “Hey, come on! Let’s get off this dock and actually catch up. So much is happening right now!”

 

Beneath her feet, the white sand was soft and almost powder-like. Over the years, Trixie had gotten used to it, barely noticing the way it stretched around the perimeter of the island that encased her wonderful little home. Bright sunlight glazed overhead as she led the girls up the rocky path to the cliffside, her eyes fixed on the white buildings at the top, but she stopped short at the entrance to one of the small caves.

 

When they were children, living on the island, Trixie often escaped from the hotel and taverna by skipping down the cliff face towards a little cave. It was perfectly safe, inhabited only by some of the island’s native flowers, and she’d proclaimed the three large rocks there to be her pirate ship, Naomi’s ship, and Kim’s. Years and years had been spent playing there, or gossiping as teens - anything it was needed for. Now, it was serving a different purpose. Hiding a secret.

 

“Are we stopping for a rest break? Thank God.” Kim huffed, catching her breath against the steep edge of the cliff. “I don’t know how you do this everyday.”

 

Trixie shook her head. “I have to, I live here. Now shush, I have something I need to tell you.”

 

Naomi’s eyes widened. Kim’s jaw hit the floor.

 

“I’m not pregnant!” She held her hands up, her skin blushing furiously. “God, it’s like I can read your minds! No babies here, no way. I’m way too young for that! It’s actually… about my dad.”

 

As she’d expected, both girls looked confused. Kim inclined her head. “The dad you’ve never met and know nothing about?”

 

Trixie sighed. “That’s the one. It’s just… with all this wedding stuff happening, I keep thinking about him. Everything is so traditional except the fact that I don’t have a dad to give me away at the beginning of the ceremony. I know mom can do it, but it isn’t the same.”

 

Not having a dad hadn’t really had the hugest impact on Trixie’s life. At the end of the day, one fantastic parent was much better than two mediocre ones. Still, she’d always felt like a part of her identity was missing. She loved her mom dearly; she’d be forever indebted to her for everything she’d done for her. But often, she didn’t recognise herself in her mom. There had to be something more. Part of her she had to have gotten from her dad - the man she’d never met.

 

“But how?” Naomi fretted. “I know you want the perfect wedding, but no one knows anything about your dad. There’s no way you’ll find him.”

 

Tentatively, Trixie removed the book from beneath the rock she’d sat on. A shiver of excitement ran down her spine as she looked at it, even though she’d already examined it cover to cover. The tie-dyed front was old and withered, the pages curled with age. She leafed through it again carefully, acting like it was made of gold. If young Trixie had been a pirate, this was her treasure.

 

“Well… Mom wrote about him in this - it’s the year she got pregnant with me. I found it when searching for some wedding decorations. I read it, and invited my dad.”

 

Kim bit her lip. “Didn’t Sharon say your dad was long gone when she found out about you?”

 

“Yes. And he was.” Trixie replied. “But she never said anything more. Claimed she forgot. I never knew if he was an islander, a long-term boyfriend, a summer romance, I didn’t even know his name!”

 

“And now?” Naomi pressed.

 

Trixie began to read aloud.

 

July 17th  
Dear Diary,  
What a night. Justin thrills me in the BEST of ways. He has the most beautiful eyes. His hands are so strong. His arms are so muscular… I’m rambling. I can’t help it. Justin’s the one, I know he is. I’ve never felt like this before. He makes me feel so safe, so loved, so… You know. Tonight was the best night of all. I rowed him over to the little island again, and…

Naomi pulled a face. “And what?”

 

Kim smacked her upside the head. “Naomi, you dumb bitch. If you were writing a diary about your sex life twenty years ago, you’d use dot dot dot. Keep up, please.”

 

Dear Diary,  
WHAT. A. NIGHT. Justin is a fucking beast! I feel like I want to scream when he does his thing! He’s just oh-so-amazing! Every single night, we just…

 

“Your mom really knew how to party.” Kim nodded, impressed. “So your dad is some unidentified guy named Justin. I’m sure there isn’t many Justin’s out there in the world. You’ll find him easy.”

 

Trixie rolled her eyes so hard, she thought they might fall out. “I’m not done! It’s not that simple.”

 

“Glad you caught on.” Kim murmured.

 

“Not like that!” Trixie defended herself. “Just… there’s more.”

 

Dear Diary,  
What a night. Justin’s a liar, a dirty cheating rotten liar and I never want to see his fucking face ever again. Engaged! Engaged! All this time, he’s been holding me in his arms, telling me he’s in love with me… and he’s engaged. He’s gone, and I’ll never see him again. Off to get married.

“Asshole.”

 

“Cunt.”

 

“But not, like, unheard of.” Naomi commented. “Some asshole dumped your mom for another woman. A stupid move, but that’s men for you.”

 

Trixie grinned. “Keep listening! The plot thickens!”

 

August 4th  
Dear Diary,  
What a night! Jaremi said to hell with my tiny sailboat, and rented a huge motorboat for the two of us! He’s so sweet. Every single part of me wants Justin to come back, but Jaremi… he’s so good to me. I couldn’t help it. It was late, we were happy… one thing led to another…

 

“DOT DOT DOT!” Kim screeched gleefully. “Get it, Sharon!”

 

“Shh!” Trixie smacked her arm, paranoid that someone would overhear. As overjoyed as she had been at her new discoveries, she couldn’t risk her mom finding out.

 

“Okay. So Jaremi is your dad, then. Easy peasy?” Naomi stated uncertainly.

 

Trixie shook her head, clutching the book to her chest and beginning to make her way up the rest of the cliff. Left with no choice, the girls followed, calling at her to slow down as she read on, still grinning.

 

Dear Diary,  
Jaremi’s gone. Without a trace. Supposedly he sailed off in the night and now he could be fucking miles away. So much for a good guy.

August 13th  
Dear Diary,  
What a night! Willam is the funniest guy I think I’ve ever met. He sings so well, and we had so much fun on the guitar he bought for me. Not to mention he’s pretty cute, and well…

 

“So which is your dad?”

 

Trixie stopped in the middle of the open hotel courtyard, deftly hiding the book behind a plant pot and smiling nervously. “I… I don’t know.”

 

Kim frowned, peering round the freshly-laundered bed sheets that hung on the rows of washing lines to try and see the diary. “Read on, then! Doesn’t Sharon say later on?”

 

She shook her head. “I already read ahead.” She admitted. “When I first found it. The last entry is just the word ‘Pregnant’ in shaky handwriting. No dates, no names. I’m sure she knows, but I can’t ask her. Especially not now.”

 

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Everything seemed like a good idea at that time of night. When the sky turned inky black, and the moonlight created idly glittering circles on the waves, it was peaceful and perfect. It was the kind of night, the kind of atmosphere where nothing could go wrong. With high hopes and a gentle song, she’d posted three envelopes.

 

Justin Honard.

Jaremi Carey.

Willam Belli.

 

One of them had to respond. All three, well - that would be amazing. Trixie would find her dad, she’d be able to be given away by him… everything would fall perfectly into place. The way it should be. The piece of her that had always been missing would finally be filled. She clung to that hope with all she had.

 

“Wait… which one did you invite, then?” Naomi asked.

 

Trixie waited for them to catch up, her beaming smile something of a giveaway. Slowly, recognition dawned in both of her best friend’s eyes.

 

“ALL THREE?!”

 

“All three what?”

 

In unison, Trixie, Naomi and Kim all jumped out of their skin, scrambling to face Sharon and attempting to not look guilty - a feat which made them all look incredibly guilty.

 

“All three of us, together again! How… how awesome!” Kim fumbled. It was a bad lie, but it was the best they could do.

 

Nevertheless, Sharon’s face broke into a smile. “You’re all so big now… go back to being babies! Stop getting older, it’s awful! Still, I’m glad you’re having fun. I used to have fun.”

 

Trixie put her hands on her hips, raising her eyebrows humorously at her mom. There were definitely many undeniable similarities between the mother and daughter. Both of them had shining golden hair and bright blue eyes, although at almost forty, Sharon’s hair was streaked with bits of silver and lines had begun to surround her eyes. They shared the same mischievous smile, the only difference yet again being that Sharon’s held a few more summers of laughter and stress in the lines around it. Whilst Trixie’s fashion sense was girlish and pink, Sharon had to settle for practical, work-appropriate clothing in order to be the one-woman hotel staff committee that she had devoted her life to being.

 

“You sure did have fun,” Naomi mumbled, earning a sharp kick and a yelp from Trixie. “Me and Kim, we’re going to, uh… unpack in our rooms. Bye!”

 

Before she could get suspicious, a familiar voice rang out.

 

“USED TO HAVE FUN?! SO WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR, TO BE FUCKING STATUES?!”

 

Sharon grinned. “With you two, you’d be gargoyles! Get out here, you old crows.”

 

Jinkx came strutting forwards first, fully decked out and prepared for the island’s weather in an enormous floppy sun-hat. Her tufts of ginger hair were visible against her forehead, and she squeezed Trixie tightly in her arms as soon as she saw her.

 

“Aunty Jinkxy!”

 

“Trixie Needles, you need to stop being so beautiful right now! It’s so lovely to see you, all grown up and ready to be a bride. I’m hoping to meet the mystery man soon!” She trilled, squeezing hard once again before releasing Trixie from her grasp to press a kiss to both of her cheeks.

 

Raja came strolling through a moment after Jinkx, with the leisurely supermodel walk she seemed to have perfected. Her long, shapely legs were exposed through her wraparound skirt, and she was decked out in lavish jewellery. Her dark eyes glittered behind designer sunglasses, and her lips curved upwards into something of a smize.

 

“Aunty Raja!”

 

As usual, Raja’s hugs were less warm and soft than Jinkx’s, but she smelt of expensive perfume and clung tightly to Trixie before surveying her up and down.

 

“I definitely wasn’t this beautiful at my first wedding. He’s a lucky guy!” She beamed, ruffling Trixie’s hair.

 

Together, the three of them were an odd pairing. Jinkx was short, pale and utterly hilarious, with her screechy laugh and generally odd taste. Raja was tall, statuesque even, and loved anything and everything expensive and fashionable. Sharon was the only one of them to have children. There shouldn’t have been any correlation, anything obvious to link the three together - but Trixie knew from the diary that their youth had been filled with days spent with one another. It felt nice, knowing that other side of the women she’d grown up around.

 

“Mom, have you seen Brian around?” Trixie asked. “I want to talk to him about something but goodness knows where he’s got to.”

 

Sharon laughed, somewhat sarcastically. “He was doing ‘important stag do prep’ last time I saw him - studying cocktail recipes with Karl and the rest of the boys. Maybe he’ll be stumbling to the aisle tomorrow.”

 

“I’m hurt that you think of me that way, Sharon.” A pair of warm hands came snaking around Trixie’s waist from behind, Brian’s familiar cologne being the giveaway. He kissed her forehead gently. “Krasavitsa, tell her I’m nice.”

 

Last summer, Brian had arrived in Greece for a lad’s holiday that had gone wrong. Half the group fell out, some of them had gone home, and Brian had decided to kiss all his asshole buddies goodbye and vacation on his own. By chance and local recommendation, he jumped onto the bi-weekly boat trip that led tourists to the island. There, Trixie met him on the beach and hit it off with him instantly. The following spring, he’d proposed.

 

He made Trixie’s heart do all kinds of flips and somersaults. By no means was he traditionally handsome, with his buzzed blonde hair and high cheekbones, but when he smiled and laughed, he revealed a goofy, warm-hearted persona that she’d fallen head over heels for. He was strange, eclectic - every word under the sun. Trixie had spent months howling with laughter at his odd little thoughts, his off comments, his mismatched attempts at flirting. She was sure they were meant to be. Fate had brought them together.

 

“My little girl…” Sharon smiled wistfully, reaching out to twirl a lock of Trixie’s hair around her finger. “Back in my day, we sure didn’t get married at twenty. Remember those t-shirts we used to wear?”

 

Trixie grinned. She loved it when her mom started to talk about the past, even just a little bit. She was always so fixed and focused on the day-to-day that the rare moments of talking about how things had once been had always interested Trixie.

 

Raja chuckled. “Marriage is an institution-”

 

“-For people who belong in an institution!” Sharon finished.

 

“Handmade, too,” Jinkx winked at Trixie and Brian. “Scribbled on with pen. Mind you, I suppose your old mom has had to change her tune nowadays, eh?”

 

Sharon blew a raspberry at her friend. “Old! Bah, you’re right. Anyway, on the topic of weddings, I have work to do! And so do you, Mr McCook - not stag prep! Get those lazy friends of yours back on track, and whilst you’re at it, make sure my bar staff aren’t handing out free drinks to the ladies again!”

 

“Yes, ma’am!” Brian saluted like an army recruit, and kissed Trixie’s hand. Raja, Jinkx and Sharon began to disperse.

 

This was her chance.

 

“Brian, wait.” Trixie spoke softly. “I need to talk to you about something.”

 

Instantly, all of Brian’s attention was focused on Trixie. His blue eyes searched her face, concerned but gentle. “Everything okay?

 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” Trixie muttered. “It’s not me, it’s -”

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Trixie spotted a small sailing boat on the horizon. After years of living on the island, she was quite well versed in timings - she knew it would arrive at the shore very soon. Normally, she wouldn’t have cared, but this was no ordinary boat.

 

The sailing boats weren’t for hire, so whoever was sailing it had to own it. Typically, locals used them to get to and from the mainland when they felt like it, but this one had only three passengers, dressed in everyday clothing and holding suitcases as though they didn’t live nearby.

 

Three men.

 

Suitcases.

 

Had they been ordinary tourists, they would’ve been arriving on the bi-weekly boat which was scheduled for four days time. The only reason anyone would’ve sailed to the island was if they had a specific reason that couldn’t wait, such as a wedding invite for the following day…

 

Trixie’s heart leapt into her mouth.

 

“It’s - It’s nothing.” She rushed out, her eyes widening. “Mom will want you to go do your duties, you know what she’s like. We can talk later. Bye!”

 

Before she could run off, Brian twisted her around, meeting their lips in a sweet kiss. Under normal circumstances, Trixie would’ve melted into him, leaning against his chest for another few moments of peace before the continued wedding chaos, but not now. She needed to make sure that nobody - especially not her mom - found these three familiar strangers arriving at the island. All hell would break loose if she wasn’t careful.

 

—

 

Thankfully, she got to the dock just in the nick of time. The three men were just stepping off the boat and talking quietly amongst one another when Trixie caught them. For a moment, she just stared. They were each attractive in different ways and all around the same age. One of these men was her dad. There was just no way of telling which.

 

“Perhaps this young lady will be able to help us… Hello there! We three strangers have been invited to a wedding by Sharon, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about what’s going on, would you? I’m Jaremi.” The tanned man spoke first, offering his hand for Trixie to shake. He wore glasses and an adventurous look about him.

 

When Trixie spoke, she sounded breathless. “Yes, yes… Yes, we’re expecting you. You two must be Justin and Willam.”

 

She directed her attention towards the other two men, both who smiled and differentiated themselves. Willam was blond and well-off, judging by his clothes. Justin was lankier, with dark hair and a handsome face.

 

“Come with me, we have rooms for you. Well… one room. We’re a little tied up for space at the moment, with this wedding that’s happening.”

 

As she made her back up from the dock, the three men following, she started to feel uneasy. What angle should she play here? Should she admit that she was Sharon’s daughter, and risk them knowing that they could potentially be her dad? Should she say that she was the one getting married, again risking her secret being exposed, or act as though it was someone else?

 

Still, beneath her panic, hope fluttered in her chest like a butterfly escaping a chrysalis. Despite not knowing which one yet, she was in the presence of her dad. He was here, on the island, and going to be attending her wedding. Even though there would be carnage in the long run, Trixie was excited. This was her dream, materialized. She just had to do what felt right.

 

“We’ll, uh, have to go round the back of everything.” Trixie told them, steering them out of any paths that her mom might’ve been on. “Everything’s a little hectic, so it’s easier that way.”

 

“Seems fair. Is Sharon around?” Justin spoke up.

 

Trixie froze a little, but quickly recovered. She clambered over the remains of a broken door, discarded in a little alley, and beckoned the three men to follow her round the back of the hotel. Luckily for her, the room that she’d preplanned wasn’t too far, tucked away at the back of the hotel. Three beds were already waiting.

 

“Not at the moment, but I’m sure she will be.”

 

With a winning smile, she opened the door to the room she’d prepared, closing it behind her once everybody was inside. She took a moment to inspect each of them properly, noticing the three of them doing the same to her.

 

“Sorry if this seemed a little rushed… I’m Trixie.” She smiled sweetly.

 

“You’re the girl getting married?” Willam asked.

 

Trixie grinned, pointing at the ring on her finger. “Now, about this door - it gets a little stuck sometimes because it’s old, but if you just shove against it real hard-”

 

“You’re Sharon’s daughter.” Justin said. It wasn’t a question.

 

Left without a choice, Trixie nodded. Stay calm, she told herself. There was a good chance that none of them would realize why they’d been invited, at least not yet. She had time to come clean, confess and settle everything before the big day.

 

“I knew you looked familiar. God, I bet she hasn’t aged a day.” He sounded wistful. “I know she’s busy, but can I see her? I want to thank her for this invite-”

 

“No!” Trixie panicked, internally cursing herself as soon as the outburst came. “I… shit. Mom didn’t send the invitations to you, I did. She doesn’t know you’re here.”

 

Three pairs of eyes stared at her - concerned, confused, amused. The truth was coming out a little sooner than Trixie had anticipated, but that was fine. She was crafty. As long as her mom didn’t find out until the very last second, it would all turn out okay.

 

“Listen.” She whispered, drawing closer. “She’s been so stressed constantly about my wedding, so I felt bad and invited you guys to cheer her up. She talks about her friends from the past all the time, I thought she’d like it.”

 

All three of her guests reacted slightly at the word ‘friends’. Perhaps that wasn’t right; it was clear from her mom’s diary that they had been so much more than that.

 

Trixie took a deep breath and continued. “Just… if she sees you, don’t tell her you’re here for my wedding. Make something up, a happy coincidence that you’re here. Please. She’ll freak out at having unexpected guests, I just know it, but once she gets past the stress she’ll be so happy.”

 

Justin sighed heavily. “I shouldn’t be here, I should go. Trixie, your mom hates me.”

 

“Maybe she did, twenty years ago.” Trixie countered. “No one can hold a grudge, or any kind of feeling, for that long. You can’t just go! I want you at my wedding, all of you!”

 

Slowly, surely, Jaremi and Willam began to laugh, coaxing Justin to join them. It was totally absurd, it really was. Trixie herself could see the bizarreness of the situation, and giggled along with them. It felt nice. Laughing with her dad - or at present, dads.

 

Jaremi took his hat off and grinned. “You’re a firecracker, like your mom. He’ll stay, won’t you Justin?”

 

Justin shook his head, smiling. “I suppose I have to. Seems like your mom’s taught you all her old tricks. There’s no way of getting out of this, is there?”

 

Trixie beamed. “Nope! Remember what I said - lie, lie, and lie again. She can’t know I invited you, or that you’re here for the wedding. She’ll go insane.”

 

The worry in her chest started to settle. Justin, Jaremi and Willam were amazingly sweet, and had agreed to cooperate and go along with a few white lies. Trixie was sure that in no time, she’d find out which one was her dad, and be able to have the perfect wedding with her dad walking her down the aisle to give her away. In an ideal world, maybe her mom would even make peace with her old flings, and revive some old friendships - but she knew not to hope for too much.

 

“I need to get going…” Trixie murmured, feeling slightly regretful. She wanted to stay, to learn more about each of them. “Thank you so much for accepting those invites.”

 

Justin snorted, but there was no malice in it. “It was always impossible to say no to your mother. Twenty years, and nothing’s changed.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mamma Mia - Chiquita - Dancing Queen - Super Trouper

Sharon groaned and cursed as she arched her back, trying to find the last dregs of life and energy in her body so that she could continue working. Every single day was nothing but work, but what with Trixie’s wedding approaching, she was busier than ever. Just that morning, she’d had to tell Karl at the bar that they really couldn’t afford to be giving out gratuitous drinks to every pretty girl that passed by, then she’d remade all the beds in the hotel, swept and cleaned all of the bathrooms, hung up the laundry to dry, and fixed a quick breakfast for Trixie all before ten, when Jinkx and Raja were due to arrive.

Although she was proud of her daughter for falling in love with a good, trustworthy man, she would be glad to rest when the whole wedding business was over - even though everyone and their brother on the island knew that really, she wouldn’t be resting at all.

Twenty years, and Sharon hadn’t rested a day.

“Yoohoo! Miss Workaholic! Get in here already, Jinkx and I have already opened the white wine!” Raja’s face appeared through the blue window shutters in the building Sharon stood in front of. At the sight of her, Sharon grinned.

“Without me? God, you two are as rotted as ever. Slow down!”

There were plenty of hours in the day, right? Sharon could afford to spend a couple of them drinking with old friends. She deserved it, after all. It was a special occasion. After giving her specific orders to the lads who were just hanging over the bar - and a death stare to ensure said orders were completed - she made her way up the stairs and into the room her friends had booked.

“There she is!” Jinkx cheered, wobbling her glass precariously. “You old fart, you.”

Sharon snatched the wine from the table, trying to ignore how the table wobbled - the legs needed sanding, no doubt - and drank straight from the bottle. “Relief!”

“You’re working far too hard,” Raja shook her head disapprovingly. “You need a break.”

Sharon shrugged. “This is a break!” She defended herself, gesturing to the bottle and flopping onto the bed where her two friends were sat.

Jinkx blew a loud raspberry. “As if! This isn’t a break, this is a normal day! Come on, Raj, you know she doesn’t rest these days.”

“Thank you.” Sharon clinked her bottle against Jinkx’s glass, the pair bursting into giggles when Raja rolled her eyes.

“I mean it, bitch. Go out, have fun! Get laid!”

At that, Sharon doubled over, spilling wine on both Jinkx and herself. “Oh, please! I am not that girl anymore. Jinkxy and I have the right idea, men are too much work. I’m glad I ended that whole slutty phase of my life.”

Although it wasn’t like I had a choice, Sharon wanted to tack onto the end. It was unnecessary; Raja and Jinkx already knew. They were her best friends, her ride-or-die girls, the ones who stuck by her and listened to her lamenting and crying. It didn’t matter then or now what they said, Sharon had always blamed herself. She’d slept around and she’d paid the price, and it wasn’t all bad. Trixie was a blessing, she reminded herself.

“Every lady still needs a bit of va-va-voom, darling.” Raja insisted. “I’ll find you a man myself if I have to. Now, Miss Mother-of-the-Bride, it’s time for you to loosen up and DRINK!”

Teaming up, Jinkx pushed Sharon down and restrained her whilst Raja took control of the wine bottle. After a few seconds, they released her, all three howling with laughter.

“Oh, god…” Sharon laughed, before shooting bolt upright. “Why did I even come in here? I’m so busy! There’s so much I need to do, the wedding is tomor-”

Jinkx held a finger against her lips. “You have all day!”

“No, I don’t!” Sharon rose to her feet, regret bubbling in her chest. “Girl time later - that’s a promise. After all, we have a hen party to go to! Just let me finish up…”

She was gone before they could pull her back, sweeping the steps on her way down. It was amazing to see her girls again, but she was overly conscious that the hotel needed cleaning at least every other day, what with it being so out in the open. If she didn’t finish cleaning today, it would be filthy by tomorrow and by then it would be too late, as she’d have to be preparing the wedding and decorations and getting Trixie ready and ensuring everything was perfect-

Breathe, she told herself. It was just a little extra work, nothing she couldn’t handle.

A few of the roofs needed repairing, she knew that. That was a good place to start.

As she made her way around, Sharon couldn’t help feeling proud. Around her, the air smelt fresh and aromatic, like honeysuckle and sea salt and baked bread. The walls were white - clean white. The courtyard was swept and clear, decorated with plants and tables, and the view was just breathtaking.

Yes, she had a crippling mortgage and almost no money, but sometimes, rarely, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She’d managed a hotel and raised a beautiful daughter alone. A wedding was something she could easily tackle. She’d done it all without any help.

“Karl, Michael, Danny, will you boys help me with the roof repairs? Take a block each, I’ll do the shed and back block.” Sharon rolled her eyes when they groaned. “You’re young, don’t complain. Hop to it!”

It felt good to be working. It always had. Taking her mind off of the list of stresses she had, to focus on getting rid of one of the stresses, had always helped. Slowly burning her way through the list of deeds that needed to be done was the only thing that would settle her mind. It had been this way for twenty years, since the resort had been built, and it wasn’t about to change anytime soon.

“Fucking hell.” Sharon murmured, climbing to her feet on top of the flat roof at the back of the hotel. Parts of the wooden planks were weathered - nothing she couldn’t cover with some handy trash bags and tape, but the edges of the hatch leading into the room below definitely needed some strong sealant. She silently prayed that none of the wooden planks were weakened. This was going to do her back in for sure, but falling through would be even worse.

She got to work quickly. With any luck, the repairs wouldn’t take long, and then all she’d have to do was take down the laundry, fold it, tell the kitchens what they needed to be preparing for tomorrow’s wedding dinner, and then palm off the rest of the small tasks to some of the young men. Hopefully, she’d have time to relax and have fun at the hen party.

Leaning over, she opened the hatch slightly and began to press down the sealant, stopping when she heard voices.

Now, Sharon knew she wasn’t crazy. They weren’t in her head. There were, however, several things she knew.

One: Nobody was booked into the room at the back of the hotel. Not a soul.

Two: One of those voices sounded familiar…

Three: No, two of them did…

Four: No… all three…

When it happened, it was like a cruel trick of fate. The shock of hearing those voices again hardly had time to register before the planks just nearby the hatch crumbled, sending Sharon falling backwards through the roof and into the room below. She let out a yelp and braced herself for a horrific landing, swearing loudly as she did so.

“My god.” Willam.

“Well, that was unexpected.” Jaremi.

“Sharon Needles, as I live and breathe.” Justin.

This had to be a nightmare.

The first face she laid eyes on was Willam’s. He was virtually unchanged - Sharon suspected surgery - his blonde hair still falling into his eyes the way it used to. Just like before, his voice was musical. He grinned as though something he’d seen was utterly hilarious.

Then she noticed Jaremi. His skin was still tanned from adventures abroad. His eyes were still warm and brown, crinkled a little with age. He was less petite than he had been all those summers ago, like he’d decided to grow and become a man in that time. Perhaps he had.

Justin was the one she didn’t want to look at, but did anyway. In comparison to Sharon, he’d aged like a fine wine. He was smiling, but gently - not obnoxiously like Willam. His hair was still dark, but Sharon could see the salt-and-pepper greys amongst the curls. His stupidly sparkling angel eyes were as beautiful as she remembered. He was as handsome as ever.

“That was quite the entrance.” Justin smiled.

With a jolt, Sharon realized the unfortunate position in which she’d fallen - flat on her back, her legs spread. Cheeks flaming, she scrambled to her feet, glaring angrily between all three faces.

“I’m gonna need to know what the fuck you’re all doing here, how you know each other, and who said you could stay in this room. Now.” She growled.

Willam blanched. “We don’t know each other. We just, uh…”

“Happened to be on the same boat.” Jaremi cut in. “For different reasons. I’m… Well, you know me. Travel writing. I’m writing about little lost Greek islands.”

Sharon crossed her arms. “And you?”

“Me…” Willam nodded. “Came here on holiday. Just a fun little vacation.”

“Alone, huh.” Sharon scoffed. “What say you, Justin?”

Justin’s gaze softened. “Revisiting the past.”

“You won’t find anything of the past here.” Sharon retorted. “You three need to leave, right now. You can’t stay here. I’m far too busy, the hotel is booked - a local girl is getting married and I need this space for her friends and family. Off you go, clear off.”

In all honesty, Sharon was panicking internally, though she refused to show it. What kind of devilishly bad luck was this? Three faces she’d spent twenty years forgetting about, not sparing a kind thought in their direction for two decades, turning up out of the blue? This wasn’t what she needed. Not at all.

“Hell, I’ll pay for a trip back to the mainland for you all. You don’t need to be here.”

Justin held up his hand to stop her distress, which Sharon didn’t take kindly to. “Now, listen here-”

“Sharon.” He spoke calmly. “It’s okay. We checked with one of your staff, this room is free. We’re happy to share if it takes some of the worry off you. Don’t stress about us.”

Sharon’s chest heaved up and down. “Don’t stress…” She murmured, in a low, angry tone. “You have a lot of nerve turning up here. A lot of fucking nerve.”

—

It took all of three seconds for Raja and Jinkx to figure out that Sharon was angry, and a bit distressed. The door slammed open, shocking them both half to death. Without hesitation, Sharon picked up the wine bottle from where she’d left it, downed it for a concerning amount of time, and then smashed it against the floor.

She wanted to scream. Anger, regret and repressed sadness broke out of her at once, wrestling in the pit of her stomach and constricting her chest. Conflicted emotions raged back and forth in her head, creating a warzone that she was stuck in the middle of. Not a word - not one single word - out of either of them for twenty years, and then they turn up out of nowhere? Sharon was going to kill them. She held back the urge to yell and tear her hair out, instead crumpling to the floor next to the smashed glass.

“Sharon!”

At once, the two girls surged forwards, concern and pity evident in their eyes. With some difficulty, they went to their knees, Jinkx cradling Sharon’s head to her chest as Raja rubbed her back.

“Sweetheart, tell me what’s wrong.” She murmured. Sharon sniffed and buried her face, hiding herself.

Raja sighed. “Come on, it’s okay. I hate to see you like this.”

“‘M fine.”

“There’s no way you can deny it.” Jinkx said softly. “We can see you’re upset. You can cry on my shoulder, it’s okay.”

A surge of bitterness swelled up inside Sharon. It wasn’t fair that the only people she could rely on, for her entire life, were her friends. Twenty years ago, she’d sobbed into her friend’s pillows over the one that got away, over the mother disowning her, over the baby growing in her tummy. It was Raja and Jinkx alone that held her up when life brought her down. Once again, the men she vowed to forget were pulling her down, and her friends were trying to lift her back up.

“Trixie’s fucking dad is here. I swear, I could kill-” She blurted, her voice thick with tears.

Raja’s eyes widened dramatically. “You mean Justin? What is he doing here on the island?! He doesn’t even know about Trix!”

Sharon nodded, then shook her head immediately after. “Do- Do you remember Jaremi, the traveller?”

Both women nodded.

“I was with him, too. And… And Willam, the musician.”

Jinkx frowned. “Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed of! I’d be impressed, you bagged three lookers! But what’s the issue?”

“It’s not only Justin!” Sharon cried out. “Fuck. Justin, Jaremi, Willam, they’re all here! All of - All of Trixie’s dads!”

She felt so stupid. Sure, she’d been young! But Jinkx and Raja were young too, and they all had wild summers - but only Sharon was foolish, only Sharon was the dumb slut, only Sharon was the reckless whore who went and got herself pregnant without even knowing the father of her baby.

“Th-They’re all here, and I don’t know why, but they won’t leave and they’re going to ruin Trixie’s wedding, I just know it!”

She began to rake her hands violently through her hair, stopping only when Raja pulled them away. “You’re gonna be okay, baby. We’re your best friends, you can rely on us.”

“Besides,” Jinkx added, kissing Sharon’s temple and dabbing at her tears. “Tonight is the hen party. No men allowed! Just all of us girls, no stupid men to think about. You get to dance and drink and have a good time, sans les hommes. Sound good?”

Through her tears, Sharon attempted a smile. “It’s not like I can get too drunk, I have a w-wedding to organise.”

“Pish and posh.” Jinkx told her. “You can get absolutely plastered if you so desire. Trixie will want you to relax!”

Raja nodded enthusiastically. “Besides, there’s no way the three of us will be stupid enough to squeeze into our old costumes if we’re not blind drunk.”

Sharon laughed. “I already h-had them adjusted. Lord knows we’re not eighteen anymore.”

“Size eighteen, maybe!” Jinkx joked.

“Speak for yourself!” Raja cut in.

“See?” Jinkx continued. “It’s gonna be okay. It’ll be a good night. Besides, if you’re worried about your man problem, they’re never gonna find out. There’s no way they’ll know Trixie is yours and… well, theirs.”

Raja pulled a face. “Well, Trixie does look just like you. But that being said, men are idiots. They’ll probably only realize when they’re back on the boat away from this island, never to be your problem again.”

“I love you two.” Sharon stated, leaning into her best friends’ embrace. “Still, I suppose this is partly my fault. Maybe if I hadn’t have been such a careless little slut-”

Both Raja and Jinkx rolled their eyes, scarily in sync.

“Oh please! Who are you, your mother? None of the Catholic guilt, now. As of tonight, we’re The Supermodels. We’re stars.” Raja declared.

Against her better judgement, Sharon was starting to feel a little better. “Do you really need reminding of why The Supermodels had to end?”

Despite her tone, the memory didn’t bother her all that much. At the time, it had been devastating. Skin-tight costumes, that closer resembled an actual layer of skin on their bodies than fabric, were a great idea when they were young and perky, as Jinkx would say. They were less of a great idea when an inconspicuous bump was thrown into the mix.

“End? Please. It was a temporary hiatus!” Jinkx harrumphed. “There was a slight setback of nine months, a steady break of twenty years, and now we’re back.”

All three burst into laughter. Even though the situation still played on the back of Sharon’s mind, her heart felt lighter. As long as her old flames didn’t bother her, she’d be able to focus on the wedding and just have a good time. She could enjoy the one good thing that had come out of that summer, watch her beautiful girl get married, and then send her three problems back to the mainland. It would all be okay.

“I really hope Trixie doesn’t run into those three until after the wedding, at least.” Sharon said suddenly, speaking her thoughts the moment they entered her head. “She looks so much like me. They’ll know she’s my daughter, we can’t pretend otherwise.”

Raja shook her head, pulling Sharon to her feet and nudging Jinkx to get up too. “None of that talk, please! We have a show to prepare for!”

She strutted over towards the old wardrobe in the corner of the room, swaying her hips as she went. Within seconds, she’d located the costumes and pulled them out, brandishing the sequined lycra proudly.

“We’re going back in time, baby.”

—

When Sharon emerged in front of the mirror a few hours later, perfectly timed with Jinkx and Raja, she felt the alcohol in her bloodstream send her into a fit of laughter.

“Am I drunk or do we look great?” She giggled, almost stumbling into Jinkx. The shorter girl tried and failed to steady her.

“Yes.” Raja replied shortly. “I know you got these adjusted, but tell me I’m not the only one who felt a real sense of achievement in being able to get this thing on.”

The three of them creased with laughter again, nodding.

Gaping sleeves, flared and ruffled legs, bright colours with sequins and diamantes… It was as if they’d stepped back into the 70s. Sharon felt incredibly lucky that Trixie enjoyed older fashion and music, or else her daughter would be incredibly embarrassed when she saw her. Still, she thought to herself, it wasn’t just the alcohol. She looked and felt a little bit like a kid again.

“One hell of a show, don’t you think?” Sharon’s voice was breathless.

The man before her grinned. “One hell of a costume. You look like a star.”

She grinned. “Justin, you flatter me. You think white’s my colour?”

Justin threw back his head and laughed. “As if. White is for angels, and you’re certainly not one of those. I could see you in red, like the devil… but white is nice in this instance.”

“White for purity,” Sharon mocked. “Like a white wedding! God, could you imagine? Me in some stupid huge gown with a veil to show my virginal goodness?”

At that, both of them snorted. The night was dark, lit up by strings of lights across the open bar. It felt like the kind of night where anything was possibly. Where love and life and light intermingled freely, barred by nothing. A warm summer breeze blew Sharon’s hair away from her face.

“Here comes the bride, all dressed in whiteee…” Justin sang, twirling Sharon around before pulling her into his chest. “You’re no bride, are you?”

She shook her head, kissing under his jaw. “Never. I think you’re crazy if you think marriage is cool. I think I’d get bored.”

Justin shifted, so both his arms were wrapped around Sharon from behind. She relaxed into him.

“I’m hurt, Needles. I suppose you’re too much of a rockstar.” He jabbed her in the side, and she squealed.

“If you don’t give me a reason to get bored and leave, then I won’t.” She told him.

Justin smiled. “If you keep singing in outfits like this, I’ll never leave. There’s no way I could get bored of this.”

“Sharon? Back to planet Earth, please.”

Sharon shoved her friends, shaking her head to clear her mind of the sudden flashback. She hadn’t thought about that for years, and wasn’t about to start now.

“Sorry. Think I’m going a bit delirious with stress.”

Jinkx snorted. “Think? I could’ve confirmed that for you years ago. Are we ready?”

“As we’ll ever be.” Raja finished.

As they made their way to the courtyard, Sharon felt a smile tugging at her lips. The boys had done their job well, knowing better than to defy her. A makeshift stage had been pulled against one of the empty archways, the lighting rigged up above it and speakers with wires trailing out of the courtyard into the street. The arch’s entrance was shrouded in glittery fabric, no doubt leftover from one of the seamstresses on the island. Strings of lights were hung around, and way up in the night sky, the stars glittered like tiny jewels. The girls were already dancing, Trixie in the centre of them all. Watching from behind the curtain, Sharon felt undeniably proud.

“Look at my girl.” She murmured, keeping herself out of sight so the surprise wasn’t ruined. “She’s so grown up now.”

Jinkx smiled softly. “Sometimes I still think she’s a little dot dancing around your kitchen and begging you to put Dolly on the stereo again.”

“She still does that, sometimes.” Sharon laughed weakly. “Though she’s not quite a dot anymore.”

Raja pulled Sharon into a hug. “I don’t know how you did it, but you raised a beautiful young woman and you should be very proud.”

“I couldn’t be more proud of her.”

“And yourself.” Raja admonished gently. “You deserve the credit. Trix didn’t have a dad, but she didn’t need one. She had a mom to do it all, ten times better than anyone else could do.”

Jinkx grinned, tugging Sharon out of Raja’s arms. “She’s going to absolutely love seeing her old mom out here on stage. I bet she’s never seen you like this.”

Appearing seemingly out of nowhere, Karl popped up next to Raja and winked.

 

“Hello gorgeous… Sharon, want me to start the music? The lads are just prepping for the big dive before we get to the stag, so I can do it now.”

Sharon swatted him away from Raja and nodded. Karl, as typically annoying and boyish as he was, worked hard when he wanted to. Though he often took a lot of jabbing and scolding, he was a good lad.

 

“Please. And Karl-” The young man turned, stopping his fiddling with the speaker. “-Stop your flirting with Raj. This is a girl’s night, and she’s old enough to be your mother.”

Regardless, Karl left with a wink and a kiss blown in Raja’s direction. As promised, the music came to a stop not long after he’d fiddled with it, and confused noises began to erupt from the sea of women.

The spotlight turned on, highlighting three spots in the centre of the stage. Sharon, Raja and Jinkx readied themselves behind the curtain.

“For one night!” Raja called out.

“And one night only!” Sharon added.

“Because that’s all we’ve got the breath for!” Jinkx butted in.

“We present to you - The Supermodels!”

The curtain drew back, and the three took their place in the spotlights. In the audience, a few girls began to shriek and cheer in excitement. Everyone who had ever been to the island knew a little something about The Supermodels, and the trio that used to sing in the bar before there was a hotel, but they hadn’t sung together as a group for twenty years. Trixie’s eyes shone as she made eye-contact with Sharon, her face splitting into a radiant smile. She knew they were doing it just for her.

The music started.

It was a rush, it really was. Spotlights, loud music, costumes, cheering. Around them, the hen party had gathered as close to the stage as they could get. Some were dancing, some were watching in awe, some - like Naomi and Kim - were cheering wildly, unable to get over the shock. Trixie was singing along.

This was what it was about. Not men - they were out of sight, out of mind as far as Sharon was concerned. It was about singing, enjoying the moment, and making her daughter’s night.

Part of her was convinced they’d all forgotten their old moves, and yet they hadn’t. Almost instinctively, they moved the way they used to, circling round one another, dancing like they were still the carefree eighteen-year-olds they’d once been. It was going to be a show to remember, Sharon knew it.

Trixie got up to dance, dragging Naomi and Kim with her. She was graceful and beautiful, and Sharon continued to put her all into performing, just for her. It was no wonder that she was getting married so young. Though it was something Sharon would never do, her daughter was a rare jewel in a world of stones. Brian had clearly seen that and taken the chance to treat her right before anyone else could.

“Congratulations, Trixie!” Jinkx yelled as the song finished. The crowd cheered.

Her eyes gleaming, Sharon watched as Trixie ran forwards to the stage. She took Sharon’s hands in her own and looked up pleadingly.

“Mom! Dance with me?”

Anytime Trixie wanted something, Sharon caved. Naturally, if it cost money she often had to refuse and gently explain, but if it cost time, or sleep, or anything else of the rare, precious nature, Sharon couldn’t say no. A dance cost nothing. It was Trixie’s last night of being Sharon’s little girl, and she needed to appreciate it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Voulez-Vous - Gimme, Gimme, Gimme! - Our Last Summer - Under Attack

It was almost impossible to keep track of what was going on. As the hen party began, Trixie found all different types of alcohol being poured down her throat, with cheers erupting every time something was drained or spilt in some way. She’d been dancing, with no recollection of any of the songs, and then all of a sudden her mom and friends were on the stage.

That had to be the highlight of the night. Trixie felt oddly starstruck, even as she danced with her mom. Her entire lifetime had been spent with her mom, singing and dancing to get through the days, but she hadn’t expected The Supermodels to come across like real superstars as they had.

“Hey there, gorgeous!”

Trixie spun dizzily on her heel, gasping in delight as her eyes fell upon Brian. The stag do had supposedly been fancy dress, although the costumes had long been discarded in the heat of the warm summer night. Brian was shirtless, his hair slightly damp, and he held a necklace of delicate pearls and seashells in his hand.

“Guess what I retrieved for you?” He almost shouted, trying to be heard over the music. “Let me see it on you!”

She smiled knowingly. The age old story of Aphrodite’s necklace was one that the islanders all knew, and it was tradition that on the eve of the wedding, the groom dived down to try and retrieve it. Supposedly, it ensured a perfect marriage and a life of happiness for the couple. However - and Brian didn’t know this, but Trixie wasn’t going to tell him - it was also tradition to plant a necklace near the corals, for the unsuspecting groom to find.

“What’s going on?” She laughed. “Why are the guys crashing the party? It’s supposed to be no boys allowed!”

Brian grinned. “We got bored! What’s a man without his woman? He’s nothing!”

Next to her, Sharon put her hands on her hips. “And what’s a woman without a man? Successful, that’s what. Go on, lovebirds, don’t be shy. I’m gonna go and dance with Jinkx.”

As they watched her go, shaking her hips and dancing, Brian shook his head. “Shit. Your mom is cool.”

Trixie snorted. “Right?! I want to be as cool as her when I’m her age. I want to be a cool mom too.”

Brian’s eyes lit up. “Oh, you will be. Think I’ll be a cool dad?”

He flexed his biceps, wiggling his eyebrows in a manner that was supposed to be seductive, Trixie assumed. In spite of herself, she giggled.

“A crazy dad, maybe. I wish I had a dad.”

She couldn’t help it. It seemed too late in the game to tell Brian what she’d done, but with the alcohol clouding her mind, she was more open than she wanted to be. The party was amazing, and she was enjoying herself fully, but in the back of her mind she was still disheartened that she didn’t know which guy was her dad. Before, she’d been certain she’d know straight away. Now she wasn’t so sure at all.

“Come on, Trix.” Brian gently cupped her face, keeping her away from the sea of moving bodies. “You don’t need a dad. I think I’ll get jealous if there’s more than one man in your life. You’re my only girl - I want to be your only guy.”

Trixie’s heart skipped a beat. “You big old softie… But I think you’re gonna hurt mom’s feelings. She’s not your girl?”

Brian laughed. “Sharon? She’s not anybody’s girl! She’s the strong independent type, she doesn’t need me. She’s nobody’s girl.”

She used to be Justin’s girl, Trixie found herself thinking. And Jaremi’s, and Willam’s. And I’m still no closer to finding out which one is my dad.

It bothered her more than she wanted to admit. There was no indication as to which one could possibly be the right guy. Trixie resembled her mom so closely that she didn’t really look like any of them. All of the dates were so close together that it was anybody’s game. And she knew that for once in her life, her mom didn’t have the answer.

“Babe? Trix, you there?”

Blinking, Trixie realized she’d spaced out. “Sorry! I’m here. I, uh…”

In the corner of her eye, she spotted a familiar head of blonde hair, dancing up a storm next to a group of young men and women who were cheering him on. With a jolt, she recognized who it was.

“Brian, will you dance with mom? I have something I wanna do real quick!”

Leaving her confused fiancé no choice, Trixie dashed away, threading herself through the crowd towards where Willam was dancing. Upon spotting her, he broke away from the group.

“Trixie! Last night of freedom, huh?” His voice was jovial.

“Uh, yeah, I guess…” She murmured distractedly, looking for an escape. “I need to talk to you, can we…?”

Understanding immediately, Willam nodded. They made their way out of the courtyard, heading out to one of the balconies that looked over the whole island. With the moon reflecting off the gentle rippling waves, and the music fading to a quieter, more manageable level, Trixie felt a little bit calmer. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“It feels good to be partying back on this island, you know. Definitely brings back memories, especially with your mother being here. I haven’t had a chance to speak to her properly yet.”

Willam leant against the wall, mirroring Trixie as he stared out at the sea. Trixie breathed deeply, trying to calm her nerves.

“That’s probably a good thing.” She shuddered. “I’m starting to think this was a bad idea… I really thought she’d be happy to see you guys.”

He chuckled. “Listen, Trix - there’s no point lying. Your mother found us, and we each gave our excuses. She doesn’t know it was you, but she sure as hell knows that we’re here.”

“She wasn’t happy about it, was she?” Trixie asked glumly.

Willam shook his head. “Not quite. She mostly seemed mad at that Justin guy, though he seems pretty nice. Now, Sharon… she’s never talked about us, has she?”

“If we’re coming clean… then no. Never.”

“You found out about us, somehow. You’re as sneaky as your mother, I’d wager. But why us? And why now?”

Trixie lowered her head. “Willam… I think you know why. My birthday is in mid-April… nine months after Justin, Jaremi and you all found this island and my mother with it.”

One of us is your father.” Willam’s voice was quiet, like he didn’t want anyone to overhear. Trixie was incredibly grateful for it.

“And I don’t know which.” Trixie sighed. “There’s no evidence either way. I don’t know, you don’t know, I don’t even think mom knows.”

Willam tentatively squeezed her hand, unsure of whether it was an appropriate amount of contact or not. “Trixie, if you don’t figure it out by tomorrow, I just want to say… It’d be an honour to walk you down the aisle. My husband will get a kick out of it. Fancy me having a daughter.”

“Thanks, Willam. What’s this about a husband?”

The blonde man grinned. “Sharon doesn’t know this, but she’s the first and last woman I ever loved or, uh… touched, I suppose. Through no fault of hers, I realized women weren’t quite what I wanted. I mean, girl… you understand me. I’ve met your Brian, he’s cute.”

“Hands off.” Trixie smiled. “I should let you go back to the party now. Sorry about all this confusion and drama.”

Willam shrugged. “I live for drama. I’m off to get a cocktail.”

It felt as though a weight had been lifted off of Trixie’s chest - but she still didn’t feel good. In fact, as the weight was lifted, it felt as though a rope was constricting her insides. One person knew the truth, and time was running out. In just a few hours, everyone would know.

Re-entering the party, Trixie was utterly overwhelmed. Music throbbed in her ears. Someone grabbed her hand for a dance, spinning her and flinging her somewhere into the middle of the dancefloor. Sweaty, grinding bodies pushed her this way and that. Heels trod on her feet. Backs slammed into her. The air smelt of alcohol and she wasn’t sure she could even still breathe.

Someone was calling her name, but the voice didn’t sound right. It was as if they were speaking underwater, garbled and confused. Trixie blindly stumbled forwards, falling straight into somebody’s arms at the edge of the party.

“Trixie?”

“Jaremi!”

He was drunk, clearly. His skin was tinged a merry red, his clothes slightly dishevelled and stained from dancing and drinking. Sweat glistened on his forehead. Even though he hadn’t been on the island for long, Trixie had gathered that he wasn’t particularly social. When she returned to the three men she’d hidden at the back of the resort, she’d talked for a long while with Willam and Justin, but Jaremi had wandered off to be alone. It seemed that alcohol had loosened his tongue considerably.

“Oh, my god.” He set his drink down, leaning Trixie against the wall. “I’m your dad!”

“Not so loud!” Trixie squeaked. “I - I just… Please keep this a secret! I can’t have anyone knowing!”

Jaremi nodded. “Absolutely, I nill wot - no, I will not tell a single soul. Until tomorrow when I walk you down the aisle.”

“What?!” Trixie screeched. Panic was rising.

“It’s a father’s duty to give his daughter away!” Jaremi declared, far too loud for Trixie’s comfort. “You sent those invites hoping for your old pops to walk you to your husband, and I accept! Congratulations!”

She was thrust back into the party once again. Trixie was aware that she was sweating, but her body was wracked with shivers. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

Wobbling over to the drinks, Trixie selected the nearest bottle and downed as much as she possibly could without having to breathe, and then some. There didn’t seem to be any other way to solve the mess she’d gotten herself into.

She needed to just let go altogether.

Trixie had made her way into the centre of all the dancers before she realized it was a mistake. A loud and familiar song was playing, and everyone had begun the well-known choreography, holding hands and swapping partners and moving around in dizzying circles. The entire courtyard was encircled in dancers, kicking their legs out and threading back and forwards surprisingly well considering the combined amount of alcohol that had been drunk.

A few lines of people away, Brian grinned widely at her. Her mom, arm in arm with Jinkx and Raja, blew a kiss and a smile. Naomi and Kim were dancing together. Scattered in each of the lines were her three hugest problems, the three men she’d fucked up massively by inviting.

Justin made eye contact with her across the lines, his gaze unwavering through the weaving and clashing of the dancers. Even through her drunken haze, Trixie could read the message in Justin’s eyes clear as day - We need to talk. A horrible, nagging feeling in Trixie’s chest told her that she knew exactly what would be the topic of the conversation. Everything was happening all at once.

When the song ended, Justin was quick to approach, leading her away from the speakers and dancers so that they could talk properly. He was breathing heavily, his hair pushed back as though he’d been raking his fingers through it. Judging by the revelation that Trixie was sure he’d been hit with, it wouldn’t be a surprise at all.

“Why didn’t Sharon tell me?!” He demanded, sounding distressed. “All these years you’ve been here, and I didn’t know!”

Trixie bit her lip. “Justin, I-”

“She should’ve told me! I-I would never have left if I knew! Trixie, am I your father?” Justin’s eyes were filled with hurt, shining bright under the moonlight.

Trixie’s heart felt heavy. “I think so!” She told him. “But mom didn’t know about me! Not until long after you were gone!”

Justin sighed. Despite the loud music, Trixie heard it clearly. He sounded pained, like the news was hurting him.

“Why did you leave my mom?”

He turned away, this time facing the horizon with his back to the celebrations. “I had to… It was the right thing to do! At least, I thought it was. I was wrong.”

Trixie began to lead Justin away, making her way out of the courtyard completely and down towards one of her favourite spots, a small crest in the cliffside. The area was quiet, private, and allowed her to think and stare out at the sea without the distraction of the party.

“Why were you wrong?”

He sighed raggedly. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t plan to fall for your mother. I had a fiancée, I needed to go back to her. Even though I knew I didn’t love her, not like I loved Sharon. I didn’t know love until I knew Sharon.”

Trixie sensed that Justin was talking more to himself than he was to her, sorting through his thoughts and feelings. It just so happened that Trixie was there to carry and listen to it, but she didn’t mind. He clearly needed to let it out.

Gently, she touched his arm. “What was she like?”

“The fiancée?”

Trixie shook her head. “My mom.”

“A firecracker.” Justin said, and laughing slightly. “She really was. I remember every moment that I spent with her as though it were only last summer. She has that effect on people. She changed my life forever.”

“Help me fill in the gaps.” Trixie murmured, chewing her lip. “I know a little bit about after you left from my childhood. You know the bits before that. You tell me something, I’ll tell you something.”

Justin smiled, his face kind. Some of the panic in Trixie’s chest began to settle, though she knew it was a trap. She felt calm now, but later it would rise up again and threaten to spill.

“We… we first kissed right on that dock where I arrived yesterday.” He said, his eyes faraway. “It wasn’t too long after we met, but I could’ve sworn I already loved her. She just took my heart and kept it.”

Trixie’s features softened. “But you already had someone else.”

“Yes. No.” Justin sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Mom always told me it was a summer romance.” Trixie admitted. “I kind of accepted that was all I was ever going to know. She’d met somebody and then they left and she had me. As if that was the entire story.”

“Not at all.” Justin whispered. “It was… It was definitely a romance for the ages. But I think we were both afraid, more than anything. We rushed. We never stopped to think.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Growing old. Slowly dying. It was almost as if she was convinced the world was ending, and she had limited time. We were both afraid of growing up into mundanity, so we spent all of our time trying to be amazing. Falling in love and singing and being young. If it’s true, if… if I am your father… I guess I forced her into mundanity. We both became what we didn’t want to.”

Trixie pursed her lips, the new information unsettling her slightly. She wasn’t at all offended at the notion that her mom might not have wanted her at first - she had been eighteen years old, after all - but the knowledge that she had once been desperate and fearful was so strange to her. This was her mom, the woman who had always been proud and strong and brave for as long as Trixie had been alive.

“I don’t think it’s all bad.” Trixie hummed.

Justin nodded in agreement. “She had it better than me. She had good company, eh?” He nudged her arm jokingly.

She smiled. “She said I was a dancer before I could walk. I sang before I could talk.”

“You took after her, that’s why. She strikes me as a good mom, even if it has been twenty years since I’ve known her.”

Trixie knew she shouldn’t say it. The night was already a catastrophe thanks to a plethora of reasons, and this would only add to the complications, but she couldn’t help herself. Her heart was racing; her head was spinning; her stomach was turning.

“Will you give me away tomorrow?”

Her mood worsened the second she’d uttered the words, but Justin’s face morphed into a mask of pride and gratefulness. His eyes shone with newfound happiness.

“Trixie, if that’s what you want, I’ll be there. I have about twenty years of lost time to make up for.”

What have I done?

She wandered back into the party, trying to calm herself.

This was a mistake.

Someone grabbed her hand, pulling her back into the ring of dancing.

I shouldn’t have invited them.

The music was thumping loud. Trixie felt dizzy.

Mom is gonna be so upset.

Darkness began clouding her vision, making her feel woozy.

The wedding is tomorrow.

She started to lose consciousness.

“Trixie? Babe, are you okay? Sharon!”

“Everybody move away from her! Trix, sweetheart, can you hear me?”

“Is everything alright? Is she okay?”

“It’s okay, Trixie. Mommy’s here now, and you’re going to be okay.”

—

Trixie was in a boat.

It was only a small rowing boat, with enough room for two. Opposite her, rowing steadily with strong arms, was her mom. Sharon smiled up at the sun, like she couldn’t get enough of its warmth. Her skin was tanned and freckled. Her blonde hair was slightly wavy, blowing in the gentle breeze. She was much younger than Trixie had ever known her.

Trixie peered down into the water below. She could see Brian - her sweet, loving Brian - fighting desperately against the grasp of some unseen monster. Her heart leapt into her mouth. She had to save him!

As she dived, it was as though the water disappeared. All of a sudden, she was falling down into a dark abyss, with no end in sight. Invisible arms grabbed at her, unintelligible voices spoke to her. She was under attack.

“Come and rescue me!” Trixie cried out. “I’m falling apart!”

A strong hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her fall somehow. Trixie looked up, meeting eyes with Jaremi. He was younger too - his skin smooth, his eyes bright yet dark.

“My daughter…” He spoke tenderly.

“NO!” A cacophony of voices challenged him, each one of them reverberating painfully inside Trixie’s head. It was disorientating.

“My little girl…” Justin took her hand, almost snatching her away from Jaremi.

“NO!” The voices repeated. Trixie’s head spun, her eyesight blurring. She was nauseous.

“Mine…” Willam smiled.

“NO!”

“NO!”

“NO!”

“NO!”

“You don’t need a dad!”

“NO!”

“It’s a father’s duty to give his daughter away!

“NO!”

“Why didn’t Sharon tell me?!”

“NO!”

“One of us is your father!”

“NO!”

The voices drew closer, louder. They were taunting her.

“WHICH ONE, TRIXIE? WHICH ONE’S YOUR DAD?”

“WHO’S YOUR DAD?”

“TRIXIE? HAVE YOU FOUND HIM YET?”

“WHICH ONE?”

Trixie kept falling, screaming and grabbing at nothing as she tried in vain to stop herself. This was what she wanted, wasn’t it? So why was she scared as hell, shaking with fear at the very idea?

“YOU’VE GOT NOWHERE TO GO!” The voices reminded her. “YOU’RE UNDER ATTACK!”

“Please!” Trixie struggled. “Somebody, have a heart!”

“Oh, my god! I’m your dad!”

“I-I would never have left if I knew!”

“Fancy me having a daughter!”

“I want to be your only guy!”

—

She screamed.

“Shh, shh, Trixie. My baby girl. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Trixie shivered and buried her head into her mom’s chest, letting her heart rate begin to slow as her reassuring hands slowly rubbed her back. She felt like a little kid again, cuddling into mommy’s lap after a scary dream. Even though she was an adult now, she still needed it.

“N-Nightmare…” She stuttered.

Sharon smiled weakly. “Probably stress-induced. You really freaked out back there, is everything okay?”

Trixie nodded, then shook her head. She couldn’t tell the truth. Not now. If she even tried, she was sure that all of the alcohol that she’d consumed would crawl back up her throat and make a mess. No, she definitely couldn’t tell her mom what she’d done.

“J-Just a little overwhelmed.” She paused, hearing faint music. “The party’s still on?”

Sharon nodded. “I got you out of there once you fainted, but it’s only 2.30am. People are still partying. I’m a little relieved to be free, though.”

She stopped for a moment, her eyes searching Trixie’s face. “Something is bothering you, I know it. You can talk to me about anything, I promise.”

Pulling the blankets up to her chin, Trixie decided to be a little bit truthful. “Mom… I’ve gotten myself stuck in a bad situation and I don’t know what to do. I’m so c-confused… I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what to do.”

For a moment, there was silence.

“You know what to do.” Sharon spoke softly. “You don’t have to do anything at all. You’re young, you have all the time in the world. If you’re feeling afraid, or unsure, you don’t have to have this big wedding-”

Trixie froze. Unreasonable anger bubbled up inside her, fuelled by the alcohol and the stress and the panic. Against her better judgement, she saw red, tearing the covers off and standing up. Her mom leaned back in surprise, eyebrows knitting together.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Why wouldn’t I want to get married?!” She swore, not caring at how her mom’s eyes widened with shock. Trixie never, ever swore at her mom.

Sharon stood up, too. “Hey, calm down! All I’m saying is, if you’re not sure what you want then-”

Trixie shook her head. “No, but I’m sure what you want! You don’t want me to get married, you don’t want me to get it right! I know what I want, I want Brian! You don’t understand!”

“What don’t I understand, then?!” Sharon argued back.

“You don’t understand what it’s like to want to do things the right way!” Trixie yelled, frustrated. “I want to get married! I want to know who I am, get married, and I want my children to grow up with two parents! I want to do the whole marriage-and-babies thing, not just get knocked up like you did!”

As soon as she spoke the words, she regretted them.

Sharon flinched as though she’d been hit. “I didn’t have a choice!”

“You could’ve been a little less careless!” Trixie shouted. “Look at me, mom! I did it all how it’s supposed to be done! I fell in love and I got engaged! I didn’t just - I didn’t just throw all caution to the wind and let my future children grow up not knowing who their dad is! It’s shitty!”

Tears glistened in Sharon’s eyes, but Trixie could see she was fighting tooth and nail to hold them back. “I did everything I could for you, Trixie. I worked whilst I was pregnant until I could no longer stand up and carried on working days after you were born. I slaved to give you a good life, and it wasn’t enough?”

Trixie sniffed, tears forming in her own eyes. “You just don’t understand, mom! You never will!”

“I don’t know why you’re going off on me right now!” Sharon defended herself. “What did I do?!”

“Just leave me alone!” She cried. “Please!”

The day had been too long. The stress had gotten too much. In reality, Trixie wanted nothing more than to clamber into her mom’s lap, the way she did when she was a little kid, snuggle up to her, and breathe in the scent of her perfume as she slowly rocked her to sleep. What she needed was to be held, comforted, for her mom to work that strange motherly magic that she seemed to possess, and make everything better again.

But that wouldn’t happen. She’d been a stressed out, angry brat, and now she had to pay the price. After her mom had gone to all the effort of organising a wedding by herself, setting up the hen party, performing in her old girl-group and hell, raising her all alone for twenty years - Trixie had thrown everything back in her face.

It stung Trixie, so she couldn’t even imagine how it had made her mom feel. In her whole twenty years of existing, she’d never seen her mom look so hurt. As a child, she was convinced her mom was practically bulletproof. She was a superhero - always right, mega strong, a mind-reader with magic powers and a warm heart. Now, Trixie was beginning to realize two things. Her mom was human, painfully, normally human. And she had feelings. Feelings that Trixie had stamped all over.

The urge to apologise rose up within her, but she fought it down. It wouldn’t do any good anyway; Sharon had stormed out after Trixie told her to leave, and she would need time to cool down. Trixie had been foolish to think she could get away with inviting her dads to the wedding, and now she was simply pushing her luck by pushing her mom to breaking point.

She was a horrible daughter.

Please forgive me, she begged internally, stepping out onto her balcony for some air. Upon staring at the sea, she started to feel a bit calmer.

Everything was wrong. It was all horribly, terribly, disgustingly wrong. And yet…

Almost twenty one years ago, Trixie was sure that her mom had felt the same. She pictured a young Sharon, alone, staring out at the same sea as she cradled a bump that wasn’t quite there, but soon would be. She was eighteen, and surely it must’ve felt like her world was turned upside down. She was alone, pregnant, with no family to lean on. She would’ve stared out at the sea and wondered how everything had gotten so bad.

Time had passed and fixed it again. It wouldn’t have been easy, Trixie knew that. But she knew that Sharon had pulled herself up and opened a business, working full time, earning little amounts of money that she could put aside for a crib, a rocking chair, clothes and nappies and toys. It would’ve in no way been easy, but she’d followed her heart and made it work. Time fixed it. It wasn’t so bad anymore.

In a way, the thought was comforting. In a moment of painful desperation, her mom had been looking out at the same ocean, of the same beach, of the same little island. Everything had turned out okay for her.

Everything would turn out okay for Trixie, too.

Rationalize, she told herself. Break it down sensibly. The main problem is that you have three dads trying to give you away. Two of them are surplus. Something needs to be done about that.

She watched the water, timing her breaths with the steady peak and crash of the waves. After that, you need to admit to mom what you’ve done. Tell her everything and why you did it. And Brian, too.

Deep down, Trixie knew that her heart knew what to do. She was just too afraid to listen, too afraid to take the plunge.

Then you’re gonna get married, and it’s going to be amazing. You don’t need to know who your father is to know who you are.

You’re Trixie Needles. Tomorrow, you’ll be Trixie McCook. That’s who you are.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel Eyes - Slipping Through My Fingers - S.O.S - The Winner Takes It All

Over the years, Sharon had watched plenty of people judge her for her predicament. Each time it stung, though the ache lessened a little over time. She remembered her own mother, her face stern and disapproving, noticing the bump that she’d tried to hide and throwing her out of the house. Out of all of them, that one had probably hurt the most at the time. It was humiliating, feeling like the failure of the family, and even worse that she was told to find somewhere else to live.

Yet it was nothing in comparison to hearing her own daughter shame her for it. As she left Trixie’s room, she stopped trying to hold back her tears. It was as if twenty years of pain and regret flowed out of her at once, and she sank down against the outside steps, sobbing.

Trixie was right. She had been careless, she’d been reckless, she’d fooled herself into thinking that she was in love. All she’d been left with was a broken heart, a baby to look after, and bittersweet memories poisoning her mind.

“Sharon?”

Hurriedly sniffing, Sharon shot to her feet, feebly attempting to look as though she hadn’t been crying. It was a futile effort, but she tried nevertheless.

“Willam.” She acknowledged, her voice thick. “What are you doing here?”

He shifted back and forth, seeming slightly nervous. “I… I want to give you this.”

In his hand, he held a small blue envelope, which he offered. Sharon took it, not bothering to open it. It was clear that Willam had more to say.

“I met Trixie tonight.”

Sharon’s breath hitched. He knew.

Surprising her, Willam stepped forward. He took a seat on the step next to where Sharon had been crying, and offered her the space next to him. In spite of herself, she accepted. The night was already a shambles; it couldn’t really get much worse.

“I knew she had to be your daughter. Needles, she looks just like you.”

Sharon smiled thinly.

Willam coughed. “You must be proud of her.”

“I’m as proud of her as she is disappointed in me.” She said shortly. “Willam, you shouldn’t be here.”

Seeing Willam didn’t hurt Sharon too much. He was nice, but she hadn’t connected with him as strongly - his impact hadn’t been as long-lasting. Even so, she didn’t want him or any of the others invading her home. If this was where she had to stay, with all the memories of her youth trapped within the walls, the least she could’ve hoped for was to never see them again. Really, it was just her luck that they’d all showed up at once.

“I had to do something.” Willam gestured to the envelope, prompting Sharon to open it. “It hit me that raising a kid and running a business alone - whilst admirable - is quite expensive. I’m at a point in my life now where I have a lot of money lying around, so…”

Sharon didn’t hear the end of his sentence. At the sight of the cheque, her stomach had dropped all the way to her feet, along with her jaw. How could he be serious? Her hands started to tremble. A small part of her wanted to keep the money, but she knew inside she couldn’t. This was Willam’s money. Willam, who she’d had a brief affair with when she was eighteen years old and then heard nothing from him for the following twenty years. How could she accept it?

“I can’t.” Sharon shook her head. “I can’t accept this.”

Willam pulled a face. “Come on. You can. I won’t take it back, no how. Use it for the wedding.”

Sharon snorted derisively. “Willam, this could pay for four weddings! And a funeral! I’ll never be able to pay this back!”

He held his hands up defensively. “Hey, I’m no bank. You don’t need to pay me back. It’s a gift. Just being back on this island is enough payback for me.”

“I guess…” Sharon murmured, then shook her head. “No. No! Really, I can’t take your money! I’m doing just fine on my own, I promise you.”

Perfectly on cue, one of the shutters from a window opposite them clattered to the ground. The wood splintered and broke, causing Willam to burst into laughter at the ironic timing of it all.

“Shut up.” Sharon told him, giggling slightly in spite of herself. “God, this place is falling apart around me.”

Willam tapped the cheque, making direct eye contact. “Take it. Pay off the wedding, get things replaced, do what you need. I refuse to take it back.”

“I’m not keeping it.”

Shrugging, Willam got to his feet. “Well.. you’ll have to catch me first. Bye!”

Involuntarily, Sharon laughed even louder as she watched Willam dashing away, yelling nonsensically that she would have to chase him if she wanted to return the money to him. As stupid as it was, he’d known it would work. In her current mood - slightly uplifted but hurt beyond comfort - there was no way she was going to run after him. She had to accept the money.

—

Morning arrived slowly. After the party had died down, with the attendants having left to go to sleep or passed out drunk on the floor, Sharon started to clean up. This was how it always was, and always would be. She worked nonstop, night and day, paying bills and maintaining whatever shred of dignity she contained through her work. There were empty bottles that needed throwing away; streamers and silly string to be collected; spills to be mopped up and dried; tables to be moved back to their original places; an entire stage and sound system to be removed. Regardless of their fight, Sharon had a wedding to put on, and she would not let her daughter down a second time.

For hours, she worked in peace. It was difficult work, not particularly fun, but it had to be completed. If you wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself. Sharon had learned that the hard way over the years. There was no use relying on anyone else when they’d just let you down. Best to be responsible for your own failures.

She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t notice the sunrise at all. Back in the early days, when Trixie was a baby, it was inevitable that she would be awake for the sunrise. Some of her fondest memories were the simple ones, of sitting out on the balcony with the warm bundle of her babe in her arms, watching as the sky transformed from inky black to the beautifully distilled blue of the morning. Those days were long gone, it seemed.

“-A real MILF, but she doesn’t even have kids! And she was like Oh, Karl, fuck me! Fuck me harder Karl, fu-” The young man trailed off when he spotted Sharon, stood in the centre of the courtyard with a broom in her hand. As ridiculous as it was, all of the young men on the island at Sharon’s disposal knew that she wasn’t afraid to put the broom to use if she had to.

Karl, one of the islanders, was accompanied by Brian and another guy whose name had escaped Sharon’s mind. Nevertheless, she glared at them until each one lowered their heads.

Irritable was an understatement. If there was one thing Sharon wasn’t going to stand for today, it was loud, drunk youths. She didn’t care if they were incredibly hungover and coming down from a wild night, nor did she care that she’d once been like that too. Today was Trixie’s fucking wedding day, and nobody was going to mess it up the way she had.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, hmm?” Sharon hissed. “For starters, Brian, you look like absolute shit.”

The other two snickered. Sharon shot them a look and they quickly stopped.

“Go and take a fucking shower and clean yourself up, now. Did you forget that your wedding to my daughter is today? And as for you two, start setting the place up. I’ve been out here since four this morning, when you two were sleeping off your mighty hangovers, so you’d better step to it. Don’t you dare even think about putting a toe out of line, either.”

Granted, it was unfair of Sharon to be so harsh on them, but she needed to take out her anger somewhere. It just so happened that they were in the line of fire.

“Trixie’s wedding is going to be perfect, got it?!” Her voice rose a little, verging on hysterical.

People were beginning to wake up, the island finally coming to life. Locals went about their business, chipping in to help Sharon, or just nodding sweetly in her direction as they passed. The second her rant was finished, all three men scarpered, hasty not to be caught under her ferocious gaze again.

In truth, she wasn’t really angry, just stressed. Her heart still twinged knowing how Trixie truly felt about her. When she was younger, she’d meant so much more to her daughter than she did now. She was the spider-remover, bed-maker, dinner-maker, nightmare-rescuer, everything and anything that Trixie needed her to be. She was just a child and her mom was a hero. Now, Trixie saw her as a slut.

Fine. She told herself. I’m her mom. It doesn’t matter what she thinks, it’s my responsibility to take care of her and make today perfect. If an amazing wedding is the last interaction she wants to have with me, it’s the least I can do.

Still, as she worked, she couldn’t stop her mind from wandering. Flickering in and out of her head, much to her chagrin, was Justin. Internally, she wondered how things might’ve been different if he hadn’t left, if he hadn’t lied.

It was foolish of her to consider him as Trixie’s father, since it could’ve been any of them, but she had always sort of hoped, or perhaps known, that it was him, and the thoughts struck her anyway. A happier nine months, with that huge smile Justin always did that used to melt her into a puddle onto the floor. His warm, strong arms around her even as she swelled to a size that she had thought near impossible. Those wide, loving green eyes staring down at the tiny newborn in her arms, reaching out to hold her. A real home. Perhaps they’d even have gotten married, despite Sharon’s disdain for the ceremonies.

The most infuriating part was that Justin still looked amazing. Older, like he’d matured. Even better than before.

Memories came flooding back every time she thought of him, ones she promised herself she’d never think of. Her first time, laid out on the bed in the little cabin that Justin was staying in when he arrived on the island. He had been so gentle, so tender with her in the beginning, making sure she was absolutely comfortable. Then how they progressed, flirting on the beach and performing for him on stage and going rough, kissing and fucking hard and fast like they didn’t have all the time in the world on their hands. The bitter arguments as she found out the truth, that he was leaving because he was a cheater and a liar and a scumbug. How she’d written a dumb song about him, his lies, his deceit, and still talked about his fucking eyes because she was so in love that even heartbreak couldn’t soil his beauty.

This is useless, she told herself. There’s no point thinking about what could have been. There’s no point dwelling on what was. He left to go and get married. You raised Trixie alone.

Sharon wrenched her mind away from those thoughts. The past was never something to dwell on. Besides, she was busy. She needed to set up the courtyard ready for the dinner and wedding reception. She needed to check on the lads, just in case they weren’t getting on with what she’d told them to do. She needed to do hundreds of other things, as always.

It was only just approaching the afternoon when she finally made her way through to the near end of her mental list of tasks. Of course, more and more piled on as she noticed this and that that needed to be adjusted or fixed or changed or set up, but mostly, things were going smoothly. Local women had pitched in to help, and Sharon was incredibly grateful for it.

“Can we get that table a little more to the left, please?” Sharon called out, then pulled a face. “Uh - λίγο προς τα αριστερά παρακαλώ! Ευχαριστώ!”

Her shoulders felt tight. This had to be perfect, or else she would fail miserably. Her Greek wasn’t incredible, but she was fluent enough to communicate exactly what she needed.

“Mom?”

Sharon turned, sure she’d heard wrong. Behind her, Trixie stood looking sheepish. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, her face makeup free, and she was wearing only a pale pink sundress. For a moment, she looked like Sharon’s little girl again.

“I…” Her voice trailed off. Trixie stared at her feet, her eyes welling up. “I’m s-sorry…”

She sniffed, shifting her feet anxiously on the floor. Sharon’s heart broke at the sight of her, looking so lost and upset. Argument forgotten, Sharon almost ran forwards and enveloped her daughter in a hug, feeling Trixie relax into her. She rubbed her back soothingly, kissing the side of her head.

“Sweetheart…” Sharon began, cautiously at first. “Why aren’t you getting ready? Aren’t Naomi and Kim around for you?”

Trixie shook her head. “Th-They’re around, just… I want you to help me. Not them.”

A warm feeling spread from the bottom of her stomach throughout her body. It was only a small gesture, a few words, but it meant a lot. This was Trixie’s special day, and she wanted her old mom around for it. Sharon’s heart fluttered.

“We have to…!” Trixie didn’t finish her sentence, simply running away back to her room. Sharon followed, slower, a gentle smile on her face.

She had always been the most excitable child. Life was exciting; her little eyes shone at the prospect of a new day. New games to play, new toys to mess with, new stories to tell. She ran and sang and danced everywhere, stopping only when she ran out of steam under her pink duvet at night. All the while, Sharon listened attentively, trying to savour every moment. She hadn’t savoured enough. Her little Trix was all grown up now.

Trixie’s room was still pink as it had been as a child - though now it was lighter, a soft pale hue as opposed to the childlike fuschia it had once been. Her wardrobe was tucked into the corner by her bed, and the wedding dress was hung at the very top. Trixie was sat at her vanity table, where once her old toy box had stood, and was staring into the mirror with her hair loose around her shoulders.

She relaxed as Sharon began to gently brush it, skillfully untangling any knots and smoothing the golden hair between her fingers.

“Mom…” She ventured shyly. “Can you… Can you tell me how you did it?”

Sharon watched Trixie’s face in the mirror. “Did what?”

“Everything.” She murmured. “All on your own.”

When it dawned on her what Trixie was asking, she smiled, leaning over to hug her daughter. “Well, I’m sure you can imagine what it was like for your wild child of a mom to discover that she was having a baby at eighteen.”

Trixie giggled. “Like the world was ending.”

“It was!” Sharon laughed. “I never went out to get a test, because when I had symptoms, I knew. I majorly freaked out. The biggest indicator was my old performance outfit not fitting.”

Trixie giggled again. “Oh god, I bet it was skin tight everywhere.”

“Quite sexy if you’re not pregnant. But if you are? A completely unforgiving outfit.” Sharon agreed, mock solemnly. “I was lucky that Jinkx and Raja were so nice, because I threw an absolute fit and refused to perform for three nights straight before I showed them why.”

“Mom! So dramatic!”

“Hey!” Sharon shoved Trixie, grinning. “I was a kid! At that age, there’s nothing worse than outgrowing an outfit. I was allowed to panic!”

As she continued styling Trixie’s hair, she began to talk about the parts she’d never shared. The stares that followed her wherever she went, as a pregnant, unmarried teenager in yesterday’s society. The fierce way in which Jinkx and Raja stuck by her side, protecting her. The kindness of the odd few strangers who didn’t know or care why she was in the situation that she was. The nights spent giggling with her best friends, watching the baby in her tummy move, thinking about the future. The knowledge that no matter what happened, Sharon would never be alone again. The realization that her heart had been broken, but it was soon to be mended again.

Sharon remembered everything like it was yesterday, and often it felt that way. The tiny baby that she loved so much, residing in her bump or in her arms or in the crib, was all grown up now. She was a beautiful young woman, about to get married, and yet Sharon was sure she was still small enough to hold with one arm.

“My secret was simple.” Sharon said softly, careful not to nudge Trixie’s hairstyle as she finished her makeup. “I wasn’t alone, not really. All those people that thought I was alone because I didn’t have a boyfriend or husband were wrong. I wasn’t alone because I had you. You were all I needed, my little sweetpea.”

Trixie smiled. “You’re the bravest person I know. I was wrong yesterday, I’m so sorry. You did do everything right. You raised me and you ran a business and I never knew how much you had on your plate because you handled it so well. We’re both doing it right. We just happen to do things differently.”

Sharon hugged her. “Stop growing old and wise, will you? I feel like you’re just slipping through my fingers, sweetheart. I miss being the super mom that knew all the answers.”

“But you still are the super mom with all the answers. Do you think… am I done?”

 

Sharon nodded. “Time to put on that beautiful dress.”

Her chest squeezed uncomfortably as she helped Trixie into the dress, securing it expertly to ensure the perfect fit. This was it. Her little girl would never really be little again.

She was beautiful. The dress was floor length, falling smoothly over Trixie’s round hips. It was gossamer, silken and soft as it gently graced the floor, connected with little pearls to the lace bodice and sweetheart neckline. As she twirled slowly, admiring the way the pure white looked against her suntanned skin, the dress moved as though it were woven from clouds. Trixie’s hair was simple, long and curled down her back with a small section pinned neatly on top of her head, where the veil sat. Her lips were pink and her eyes shone brightly. She was utterly, utterly radiant.

This was her little girl, the stubborn pig-tailed toddler who insisted on wearing her Barbie dress and red wellies everywhere, all grown up. Aphrodite incarnate.

“Oh, sweetheart… look at you.” Sharon breathed, her eyes sparkling. “When did you become a gorgeous young woman? When did you stop being my little baby?”

Trixie smiled, her expression fragile as if she was about to burst into tears. “Oh mom… I’ll always love you. Thank you for making me so beautiful.”

Sharon shook her head. “Oh, no. You do that all on your own. Let’s get you married, shall we?”

She took a moment to get her own dress on, which of course was nothing in comparison to Trixie’s. Still, she had adorned herself in pale pink to match her daughter’s love of the colour, and their little shared link made her feel good.

“Before we go.” Sharon spoke up. “I have a few things for you.”

Trixie frowned, confused, as Sharon held up a necklace. It was silver, still shiny despite its age, with an intricate heart-shaped locket in the centre. Prising it open, Trixie saw the two photographs inside - one of Sharon at fourteen, laughing joyfully, and one of Trixie as a baby.

“Something old.” Sharon smiled, then handed over Trixie’s wedding shoes. “Something new. Something borrowed-”

She nodded to Trixie’s lipstick, giggling slightly. The colour was Raja’s, and Trixie had always adored it - so Sharon had begged her friend to let her daughter use the expensive formula for her special day.

“And something blue.”

She held out the envelope.

Trixie tilted her head. “An envelope?”

Sharon smiled knowingly. “For your travels, you and Brian. Don’t worry about it yet. We have a chapel to get to, don’t we?”

Unbeknownst to her, Trixie was incredibly lucky. She’d spent her whole life on the island, bringing joy to the islanders with her cheerful singing and sunny disposition, helping others out of the goodness of her heart and often amusing them with her inherited raunchy sense of humour. As a result, one of the older Greek residents, who spoke next to no English, had approached Sharon a few days before the wedding and managed to formulate the words, “My donkey for wedding?”

The chapel, old and seldom used by those other than the elderly, was at the very top of the island, on one of the widest, tallest cliffs. It was a small building, a cosy one, perfectly positioned so that the sunlight streamed through the stained glass windows at different angles during the day. The walk to the chapel wasn’t too strenuous, thanks to the steps that led the way up, but it would definitely lead to a good stitch and would be impossible in heels. The donkey would be useful in carrying Trixie up - whilst her bridesmaids and her poor old mom traipsed behind in the evening sun.

“Ready?” Came a voice from outside. Sharon quickly opened the door, smiling at the assembled Greek family who were taking Trixie up with them. As soon as they saw Trixie, each of them gasped.

“Πανεμορφη!”

“Αφροδίτη!”

“Εκπληκτική!”

Trixie smiled widely as she left, waving and blowing kisses goodbye. For a moment, lost in her thoughts, Sharon just stood and watched her go. Then, when she was out of sight, she tugged her silken scarf around her and began to head towards the cliff.

Although she was aware of a few stragglers to the wedding in front of her, no one really spoke to Sharon as she made her way up. Then again, it wasn’t like she was too bothered - her mind was preoccupied with many things; several of them involved Trixie, and several of them involved the fact that she was beginning to realize in her uphill journey that she wasn’t as young as she used to be.

She had stopped for a short break when he approached, and everything fell apart.

 

“Sharon.”

Sharon froze where she stood, the wind from the sea whipping her scarf and her hair around her face. She didn’t need to turn in the slightest to see who the owner of the voice was.

“What are you doing here, Justin?” She sighed.

He looked handsome, smartly dressed in his suit. It was well fitted against his chest and arms, and Sharon hated herself for noticing it so quickly.

“I’m coming to the wedding.”

She shook her head. “Not here. This island.”

Justin breathed deeply, his eyes gazing into Sharon’s. “I’m here because I want to be here. You know this place meant everything to me. You even built my hotel.”

Sharon snorted. “My hotel, the wreck of a place that’s falling apart. This island means nothing to you, Justin. You made your decision nearly twenty one years ago.”

“It was the worst decision I ever made.” Justin told her. “I thought about this place day and night. I thought about you all the time. You never left me, Sharon.”

“And yet you left me.” Sharon responded bitterly. “I hope you’re happy with her. I hope she gives you a rush when she calls your name like I used to. I hope you have a… a family in the suburbs, with a dog and a white picket fence and a neat green lawn, all the things that were infinitely better than this place.”

Justin’s face crumpled slightly, the desperate expression piercing Sharon’s heart. “You’re closer to me now than we’ve been for twenty one long years. Why can’t you hear me? Nothing else can save me but you, Sharon. It’s always been you.”

Sharon turned away, facing the sea. “Whatever happened with us… it’s gone. Something died. We can’t get it back now. You had someone else, I tried to make it out… It used to be good. But I can’t do anything for you now.”

“Please.” Justin’s voice was desperate. “Just let me finish. I really think we should talk-”

“I don’t want to talk about what we’ve gone through!” Sharon cried out, overwhelmed. “It’s history now. Believe me, I played all my cards that summer night when I screamed and cried at you for lying to me. There’s nothing more to say. You fooled me into thinking I belonged in your arms, safe and at home, but… I didn’t. You took everything and left me standing small.”

Looking into Justin’s eyes, Sharon could see her own heartbreak reflected back at her. He was listening to her talk, knowing that things left unsaid and feelings left unfelt were rising to the surface in a desperate bid to escape. Too long everything had been repressed.

“I know that you can see that I miss you.” She admitted quietly. “And I know that it hurts you to see me reduced to this - stressed, tense, no self confidence. I’m not the woman I used to be. I’ve never loved anyone like I loved you, but the rules have to be obeyed. One of us had to fall. Why should I complain?”

She dabbed gently at her eyes. “I don’t want to talk. It-It hurts me, more than I care to admit. The game was over years ago, and now it’s on again. I can’t do this. The winner takes everything, Justin. And we both know which one of us won and which of us lost.”

With a heavy heart, Sharon started up the steps again. Tears blurred her vision, hot and blinding, but she fought to keep them back. She didn’t care about crying in front of Justin, but she couldn’t have Trixie worrying about her. She wasn’t selfish enough to drag her daughter into the midst of her turmoil.

“Sharon, wait. Tell me, please… who’s giving Trixie away?” Justin asked, his hand resting on Sharon’s shoulder. The better, stronger part of her told her to shake him off, whilst the lesser, weaker part told her to keep it there.

She did nothing, letting it stay. The weak part won.

“Her mother.” Sharon answered shortly.

Justin hesitated. “What about her father?”

“He’s not here!” Sharon snapped, turning once more.

Justin matched her temper. “What if that’s what she wants, Sharon?! You can’t keep this from her forever!”

“Don’t even try to tell me what I can and can’t do with my daughter!” Sharon seethed. “I raised her alone at eighteen and did a perfectly good job of it. She’s asked me to give her away today, and that’s final.”

She paused. “Can’t you see that for the second time in my life, the only person who’s ever meant anything to me is leaving? Let me have my time with her before she slips through my fingers again.”

This time for good, Sharon turned and continued up the cliffside, leaving Justin in the dust. Her body ached and her tears fell, but the worst was the shattered remains of her heart, slowly dying in her chest. That was just her destiny.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Do, I Do, I Do - When All Is Said And Done

Outside the chapel, Trixie was beginning to panic. All of the guests had arrived and were seated - even all three dads, who she’d managed to quietly lie to that she’d decided it was perhaps easier for her mom to give her away - but her mom was nowhere to be seen. Of course, Trixie knew she was probably finishing up in the courtyard, but that didn’t stop her from worrying. It was her wedding day and she was downright jittery.

 

Beneath the jitters, though, she was completely excited. No one had allowed her even the slightest glimpse of Brian, insisting that it was bad luck. Even Jinkx had said it was bad luck, and that it would be ‘very Greek’ for something odd to go wrong. Mostly out of nervousness, she’d listened, letting her excitement build up.

 

Just through the wall she was leaning against, was her soon-to-be husband, smartly dressed and handsome in his suit. The beginning of the rest of her life was encroaching like the flowers in spring, opening out into something truly beautiful. Despite her wedding worries, as she watched the sun hovering low in the sky, ready to sink in a few hours, she felt safe and relaxed. Whatever happened would happen. Whatever consequences of her impulsive actions there were, it didn’t matter. Today was her day.

 

“Trixie!” Naomi squeaked, running as best as she could in her bridesmaid dress. “It’s okay! She’s here!”

 

Trixie nearly melted with her sigh of relief. Sure enough, Sharon appeared at the top of the cliff, smiling wearily. Her eyes were rimmed red, bits of her updo falling around her face, but she looked unbelievably beautiful. Trixie wished that her mom saw what she did.

 

“Sorry, my sweetpea.” She apologised, pulling Trixie into a hug. “I’m not as young as I used to be. I’m here now.”

 

It was an excuse, and Trixie knew it. Her mom always talked about being old and fragile, but she was as dramatic as Trixie; she was only in her late thirties, and Trixie knew she was agile from the sheer amount of work she did on a daily basis. Still, something in her mom’s eyes told her that whilst it was a lie, the truth was hurting her. Trixie let it slide.

 

“Let’s go.” She whispered.

 

The bridesmaids filtered in first. Naomi walked with Karl, who curiously only seemed to have eyes for Raja on the front row. Kim was left with Joshua, who was sweet, one of Brian’s best friends, but a little obnoxious at times. Trixie could hear the soft music being played on the piano, and grasped at Sharon’s arm. Her mom nodded.

 

“You can do this. Good luck.”

 

Stepping inside felt incredible. Everyone rose from their seats, quietly gasping and cooing at her beautiful dress. Trixie, however, only had eyes for her groom at the head of the chapel. He was fiddling self-consciously with his suit, his face positively lighting up at Trixie’s arrival. She smiled widely at him, her eyes quickly casting around the room. Justin, Jaremi and Willam were all sat on different rows, wedged in wherever there was a bit of space. She felt bad for having to reject them, for ultimately deciding that really, she didn’t need them to give her away, but it was for the best. At the end of the day, whoever he was, her dad was attending her wedding. That was all that mattered.

 

It was relieving, actually. When Trixie invited them, she knew she wouldn’t have much time to get to know any of them. Pressure had been mounting ever since each of them had offered, and she was glad to be rid of that stress. Willam was funny, Justin was sweet, and she had hardly spoken to Jaremi - but the person she valued most was the person who deserved to give her away. It had to go full circle, so she had to choose her mom.

 

As the soft piano music ceased, the minister gestured for everyone to sit. With a proud smile, Sharon squeezed Trixie’s arm and took her seat, leaving her stood at the altar. Brian took her hand, murmuring “Wow!” repeatedly under his breath. Trixie fought to hold back her giggles. He always had a way of making her feel the most beautiful, even when she was already regarded as pretty. Everyone in the room thought she looked stunning, but Brian’s view of her made everyone else’s seem ugly. His eyes were filled with adoration.

 

“Welcome to Trixie and Brian, and to all their friends and family who have arrived today to witness the union of these two souls.” The minister spoke pleasantly. “It is always a blessed occasion when two families meet and become united through love, so for this reason I would also like to extend a warm welcome to Sharon, who represents Trixie’s family.”

 

Trixie turned, grinning happily at her mom. Clearly, the greeting had been a little unexpected, because Sharon blushed deeply and nodded, sinking down in her seat. Brian reached over and squeezed her hand, pulling her back into the ceremony.

 

The minister opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off.

 

“A-And welcome to Trixie’s dad.” Sharon stood up, sending gasps across the chapel. “I… Trixie, he is here. I shouldn’t have lied.”

 

Trixie’s heart nearly stopped beating altogether then and there. The very last thing she had expected was for her mom to interject and reveal the truth. In fact, as she waited for her to reach the top of the cliff, she’d made her plan. After the wedding, she would confess why Sharon’s ex-lovers were mysteriously on the island at the time of her wedding. Of course, she would have to be forgiven as it was her wedding day, and then all would be well.

 

That plan had gone out of the window.

 

Whispers rippled throughout the pews. Trixie could see all three men shifting in their seats, unsure of the next move. Even Trixie herself wasn’t sure what was going to happen. She clutched Brian’s hand tightly.

 

“I know.” She answered, shocking herself. “I invited him here.”

 

Sharon looked like she was about to choke as louder gasps came from the wedding guests. For a few heart-stopping moments, she was silent, her mouth open with no words coming out.

 

“But… But you can’t have!” Sharon looked dumbfounded. “I don’t know which one it is!”

 

Then, like someone had pulled a trigger, her eyes widened with recognition. She let out a shaky gasp as though she’d been hit.

 

“Oh my god!” She nearly screamed, her voice several octaves higher than usual. At this new revelation, utter chaos broke out amongst the guests. Trixie’s dads were looking confused as they tried to gauge the situation whilst the rest of the guests gossiped, utterly scandalized.

 

Somewhere nearby, Trixie heard Jinkx murmur something about how typical it was, to wait twenty years for a dad and ending up with three. Under usual circumstances she would’ve laughed, but she couldn’t. The truth was coming out and Trixie didn’t know what to do.

 

“The diary, the diary!” Sharon half-whispered, mortified. “You invited them… that’s why they’re here!”

 

Shaking as though she were about to pass out, she clung to the arm of her chair. Raja pulled her down so she could sit, supported, and gestured for the wedding to continue as she calmed Sharon down. Somewhat reluctantly, Trixie faced the minister again - avoiding Brian’s eyes. She was sure he was staring at her, wondering what the fuck she’d done.

 

“Now,” He continued, looking slightly uncomfortable, “The commitment that this couple are about to make is a serious one. They will promise to love-”

 

“Hold on.” Another voice interrupted. Everyone turned to face the speaker, and Trixie’s heart rate quickened as her eyes fell on Justin, who had stood up.

 

“Let me see if I’m getting this right. Trixie could be my daughter - or she could be Jaremi’s, or Willam’s?”

 

Sharon rose to her feet instantly, her face fragile but her voice defensive. “Yes. That’s right. But I wouldn’t go getting on your high horse, sir. I wasn’t the one who had a love affair despite having a fiancée waiting for me at home.”

 

Justin hung his head. “I didn’t marry her. I couldn’t, because she wasn’t you.”

 

As shocked as everyone else in the room, Trixie moved away from the altar to stand next to her mom. It was clear by her trembling hands and the delicacy of the mask on her face that she needed support.

 

“O-Oh.” Sharon stammered, before shaking her head and changing her tone. “R-Regardless, I don’t need to justify myself to you.” She added snippily. “But Trixie, sweetheart… can you forgive me? For not knowing?”

 

Trixie threw her arms around her mom, hugging her tightly. With everything that she’d put her angel of a mom through, the very least she could do was remind her just how much she loved her. She’d been angry, but the realization had come at the perfect time. She didn’t need a dad, didn’t need to resent her mom. She’d been blessed with the world’s best parent all along.

 

“Mom!” She said. “I could never hold this against you. I don’t care if you’ve slept with millions of guys! You’re my mom. You made me who I am today.”

 

Sharon’s eyes filled with tears. She clung to Trixie for an extra moment before letting go, mouthing her thanks. Thankfully, the guests had settled, and had stopped gossiping about the three potential dads in order to appreciate the mother-daughter affection they were now witnessing.

 

This had to be the most eventful wedding of all time, Trixie thought.

 

“I, uh…” Sharon addressed the room, her face suddenly crimson. “I haven’t slept with millions of men.”

 

Jinkx cackled. “Not yet!”

 

At the back, Justin grinned and wolf-whistled. Trixie giggled.

 

“Okay…” The minister spoke under his breath, seemingly perturbed. “Right. So. They will promise to love and cherish one another for the rest of their lives, whatever may happen in those coming years. Though it may be difficult, these two will promise-”

 

Willam stood up. “So, can I claim a third? I feel like a third is pretty good, all things considered. Trix is an awesome kid. Girl, if you ever need a place to stay in LA, I’m your man.”

 

“He’s right.” Jaremi butted in. “I don’t know her very well, and Sharon - I haven’t seen you in twenty years. But I’m happy with a third.”

 

Sharon rolled her eyes. “I…”

 

Justin grinned a second time, raising his hand. “I’m also happy with a third. Trixie’s an incredible young woman, and I’m proud to be able to associate with her in any way at all.”

 

All of the interruptions finally aside, the wedding went on. As the minister spoke, Trixie zoned out. She didn’t really care about his ramblings about God, or commitments, or love. All she was here to do was say two words, sign a document, and then leave to begin the rest of her life.

 

Still, it was customary to listen to the droning on and on at a wedding, so she did her best. Most of it, she spent sending looks at Brian, trying to communicate purely through looks. Trixie wasn’t sure how to convey ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I tried and failed to find my dad by inviting three potentials to our wedding and now they’ve caused a bit of a stir and distressed mom’, but she tried regardless. Later, she would give him the proper story, along with a heartfelt apology to her mom. For now, she just needed to get through the boring part.

 

“Now,” The minister’s tone changed, causing Trixie to pay attention once again. “Do you, Brian McCook take Trixie Needles to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

 

Brian smiled, his eyes full of love. “I-”

 

“Don’t.” Trixie interjected. This time, the chapel reacted wildly.

 

“Babe!” Brian exclaimed, his brow furrowed. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

 

Trixie smiled calmly. “I’m fine. I’m great, actually. I’m young. We’re young. You don’t want to get married, why don’t we just wait?”

 

Brian frowned. “Are you sure of what you’re saying? Trixie, you wanted this!”

 

“I didn’t know what I wanted.” Trixie told him, facing everyone else. “I didn’t know anything. But now I do. Brian, I love you so much. We don’t need to get married yet, I know you don’t want to. We can take it easy, go and see the world like we planned. I love you, and you love me, and - maybe the time will be right in a few years! We don’t have to rush.”

 

It felt good to let it all out. The thoughts had only just come to her, but she knew in that moment that it was right. She had wanted to get married, before. But she was realizing lots of truths; one of the truths being that love can wait. She didn’t need a white dress and a ring to prove she loved Brian. Memories of time spent together meant more than any piece of jewelry ever could.

 

“I love you.” Brian told her, pulling her into a passionate kiss. Trixie leaned into him, smiling against his lips, her hands draped over his shoulders. Around them, the guests of the wedding had all stood up, cheering and clapping and celebrating despite the lack of matrimonial union.

 

Trixie stayed wrapped in Brian’s arms when they broke the kiss, elated with happiness.The guests were chaotic in the best kind of way, but the minister didn’t seem to know what was happening.

 

Me neither, she thought.

 

“I take it the wedding is cancelled, Sharon?” He asked nervously.

 

Sharon shrugged, shaking her head. “I don’t know! I don’t know what the fuck is happening right now!”

 

Justin started to pick his way through the congregation of people who were all stood celebrating at the very back of the chapel, and emerged at the front. The aisle was clear, with only Trixie, Brian, Sharon, Jinkx and Raja still at the altar and front row. There was nothing to separate any of them.

 

“It’s a shame to waste a wedding.” Justin announced, silencing everyone. Trixie followed his gaze, squeezing Brian’s hand when she realized it was fixed on her mom.

 

Sharon coughed, holding her head in the air. “Well. It’s not like it matters.”

 

“Why waste it?” Justin responded. “How about it, Needles?”

 

He got to one knee.

 

Trixie squealed excitedly, along with everyone else, and rushed to stand next to her mom. Between her, Raja and Jinkx, they attempted to push Sharon towards him, but she was having none of it.

 

“This is crazy!” She exclaimed. “This has to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever suggested since - since-”

 

He smiled teasingly. “Since I dared you to skinny-dip with me at midnight?”

 

Sharon threw her hands in the air. “Yes! No! God, it was fucking freezing, and you knew my mother was waiting for me and that someone was gonna catch us and yet-”

 

“You still did it.” Justin reminded her. “You still said yes.”

 

Sharon snorted. “I was eighteen.”

 

“And now you’re thirty eight.” Justin shrugged. “Why does that matter?”

 

“Because-!”

 

“I can’t conceal it, Sharon.” Justin said, producing a ring from his pocket. “Don’t you feel it? You love me too, you can’t deny it. Well?”

 

Trixie’s voice was the first of many. She clutched Sharon’s shoulders, bouncing excitedly.

 

“Say I do!” She urged. “Come on! I do!”

 

“Go on, Sharon!”

 

“Say it!”

 

“Tell him I do!”

 

“Just try it!”

 

“I do!”

 

Sharon’s voice sent everyone reeling. As soon as she’d spoken, her eyes went wide and her skin blushed fiercely. “I do? I… I do! I do!”

 

The group of women behind her nearly toppled Sharon in their attempt to push the pair closer. Justin walked forwards of his own accord, the two meeting in the middle. For a tense moment, nothing happened. Trixie held her breath.

 

“Twenty years hasn’t changed you, Sharon Needles.” Justin grinned. “Does this satisfy you?”

 

She squealed again as Justin took her mom’s hand, kissing it before sliding the ring onto her finger. Trixie crept up from behind, setting her veil onto Sharon’s head, and ran back to hug Brian.

 

The wedding hadn’t exactly gone to plan, but Trixie couldn’t have expected an outcome any better than this one. It had become increasingly clear to her through Sharon’s diary, Justin’s behaviour and their body language together that there was clearly still feelings between them. Twenty years apart, twenty years of heartbreak and resentment and unresolved tension, was finally reaching a climax.

 

Soon enough, Trixie had secured her veil properly onto her mom’s head, claiming she didn’t need it anymore, and had taken her space at the front of the chapel to watch the ceremony. Luckily for everyone, it was incredibly quick, as most of it had already been completed earlier.

 

“Do you, Justin Andrew Honard, take Sharon Needles to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

 

Justin’s face was inches from Sharon’s, his smile bright. “I do.”

 

“And do you, Sharon Needles, take Justin Andrew Honard to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

 

Sharon was laughing incredulously. “Oh my god… I do.”

 

“Then I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

 

Taking everyone by surprise, Justin dipped Sharon to the ground, holding her tight so she wouldn’t fall. Her arms came up around his neck, her eyes fluttering shut in bliss. And it just… happened, just like that.

 

—

 

Just after dusk, when the sky was a happy marriage of inky black and blushing mauve, was the perfect time for a reception, Trixie decided. Beneath the blossoming trees, the tables were laid out in the courtyard, lit with softly flickering candles. The only sounds that could be heard was the gentle scraping of cutlery against plates, soft murmuring of the guests, and the waves crashing in on the shore in the distance. The air felt magical.

 

Trixie was seated next to her mom, with Brian the other side of her. Both of them had laughed as they expressed their gratefulness that the wedding hadn’t gone ahead after all. It was strangely scary and stressful to stand in front of everyone whilst they were so young, but they also both agreed that the ceremony hadn’t gone to waste at all. Trixie had always thought her mom was beautiful, ever since she was a child, but beautiful didn’t seem to cover it anymore. She was radiant, glowing with youth and happiness. Her eyes sparkled happily with new life and new love. Her laugh was a screechy, high-pitched cackle at every single one of Justin’s jokes.

 

“Remember when we got caught?” Sharon was giggling. “Raja and Jinkx…”

 

Justin spluttered a laugh. “Oh my god. We told them I was helping you remove your makeup…”

 

“Well, you were.” Sharon shrugged, then cackled. “Oh wow! This is… this is something.”

 

Justin grinned. “Does it ever hit you that any of these funny memories we have could’ve been the night you conceived Trix?”

 

Sharon nodded. “Oh my god! For all we know it could’ve been the first night!”

 

Trixie laughed and nudged her. “Mom, let’s not do this guessing game again. We’ll never figure it out.”

 

After the celebrations, when Trixie had one precious moment alone with her mom, she confessed everything in full - the diary, the letters, her hopes that something good would come of it. Sharon had filled her in with the bits that the diary missed, mirroring Trixie’s honesty. At the end of it all, they’d reconciled with a teary hug.

 

“That’s true,” Sharon agreed, her features gentle in the candlelight. One of her hands was entwined with Justin’s. “Still, the day I found out about you, my heart kind of just told me that it was Justin. That’s what I told Jinkx and Raja, anyway. Could be totally wrong.”

 

Justin seemed flattered. “I don’t mind.”

 

Sharon softened. “Me neither.”

 

Brian leant over to Trixie. “I can’t believe this. Your mom is whipped.”

 

“I can hear you, McCook, and I’m not afraid to beat your ass.” Sharon retorted, but there was no malice in her tone.

 

Brian shrugged. “I’d go after Karl, not me. He’s been making eyes at Raja all evening.”

 

Gasping, Trixie peered over the tables to see if she could spot him. She found the telltale streak of blonde amongst his black hair and watched as he winked and mouthed ‘Call me’ in Raja’s general direction.

 

“I don’t know which one I feel more sorry for.” She commented. “Raja for being chased by Karl of all maniacs, or Karl for trying to get with Raja of all cougars.”

 

Before she could continue her analysis of Karl’s misplaced crush, the gentle tapping on glass that silenced the guests stopped her. Her heart swelled as Justin stood, his eyes hardly leaving Sharon the whole time.

 

“Thank you all so much for… sticking around through this rollercoaster of a day. I don’t think any of us expected it to end like this.”

 

Everyone laughed.

 

“But I’m glad it did.” He continued. “And I won’t bore you for too long, but I just have a little something to say.”

 

Trixie’s eyes flitted over towards her mom. Sharon was sat with her face resting on one of her hands, her fingers curled around a glass of champagne, her eyes filled with love as she gazed up at Justin. She looked at him as though he’d hung the moon and stars in the sky just for her.

 

“Twenty one years ago, I met the woman of my dreams. She was pretty, yes, and funny, and musical, but most of all she was feisty and powerful. I knew she’d be the death of me, and she really was. Unfortunately, time, circumstance and my stupid mistakes kept us apart. But even after I was gone, she stayed with me. She was all I could think about.”

 

“Whether or not I was the one who gave her Trixie, whether or not it was my name she cursed when everything became too much, I just never stopped loving her, and I never will. So here’s to us.” He raised his glass of champagne, prompting everyone to do the same. “Still in love after all these years, and not too old for sex.”

 

Jinkx and Raja drummed on the table, whooping and wolf-whistling at the last part as Sharon burst into laughter. Everyone toasted to the couple, smiles on their faces.

 

“Eh, he’s not wrong, Trix!” Jinkx leant over the table to reach Trixie, clearly a little wine-drunk.

 

Raja joined her, in the same state. “Yeah! Maybe soon you could have a brother or a sister!”

 

Trixie batted them away, giggling. “Eww, Aunty Raja! Don’t be gross!”

 

“It’s possible!” Jinkx defended her, cackling madly. “And at least this time she’ll know the father!”

 

“Ew!” Trixie said again. “That’s my mom you’re talking about!”

 

“Darling,” Raja told her. “As a best friend, it’s our job to taint and disgust you purely because you’re Sharon’s daughter, and we’re her friends. It’s just how the world works!”

 

Sharon turned away from Justin. “And as a mom, it’s my job to stop you. Trix, cover your ears, sweetheart. Don’t listen to these rotted old whores talking about my fucking fertility.”

 

“I won’t.” She promised.

 

As the tables started to talk again, Sharon took Trixie’s hand. “Did you open that envelope yet?”

 

Trixie shook her head. It was in her purse, though she’d forgotten all about it. As much as she enjoyed the old wedding traditions, she failed to see the relevance of the blue envelope.

 

“Open it.” Sharon urged quietly.

 

Out of all of the things Trixie had guessed might be inside, she hadn’t expected a cheque for a ridiculously large amount of money. Caught unawares, her jaw dropped to the floor.

 

“Willam gave this to me.” Sharon told her, her voice low. “I thought you could use it instead. Take it travelling with you.”

 

Trixie wanted to cry. Her entire life she’d been acutely aware of a struggle for money - it was common knowledge that Sharon struggled to put food on the table and buy new clothes and pay the mortgage and finance her business. Yet even now, with a sum of money that could solve that decades-long issue, she wouldn’t keep it.

 

“But mom, think of what this could do for the hotel!” She insisted.

 

Sharon took Trixie’s hand. “I don’t need it. Justin has worked in marketing before, he’s going to put this place on the line.”

 

“Online.” Trixie corrected.

 

“Yeah, that.” Sharon said. “It’ll help attract some tourists, and I can use that money to make my repairs and replacements. In the meantime, you deserve to live and be young. The money’s yours.”

 

Trixie threw her arms around her. “Mom, I love you so much. Thank you.”


	7. Epilogue: Part One

Raja had seen a lot of action, in her time, both for her friends and for herself. She remembered her first was skinny and scrawny as most fifteen year olds are, and he hadn’t impressed her. He was too excited to actually be inside a girl, and barely lasted two minutes. Of course, she’d told her girls all about it, how it wasn’t really worth the hype, but still worth trying.

 

Then was her second, around her sixteenth birthday, and if she remembered correctly, Jinkx had gotten laid that night too. Her ginger friend had admitted that she could barely look the nameless girl in the eye when she awoke, but had enjoyed it nevertheless. In the meantime, they teased Sharon about her chastity, despite it not being her choice. The poor girl was convinced her religious mother had eyes everywhere, and she wasn’t too far from the truth. Whenever the three got up to no good, there always seemed to be someone to report back to Sharon’s mother and get her into trouble.

 

For the next two years, Raja lived her life as a hoe and was thoroughly enjoying it. Her experiences ranged from poor to… satisfactory, at best, and she detailed each one to her girls, occasionally expressing her sympathy for Sharon. It wasn’t from lack of interest or trying, bless her, but her mother’s insistence on wearing that damn cross around her neck every day tended to keep boys away. Which was, of course, what the religious old trout wanted it to do.

 

Both herself and Jinkx applauded Sharon when she dropped out of high school, all three of them knowing she’d fail regardless, and started to rebel a little more. Their music group was the perfect opportunity to do that - to dress up fashionably, ditch all religious memorabilia and dance away from her mother’s prying eyes. The island a little way off the mainland was their solace, and a great place to pick up boys.

 

Around the summer, things changed. Their performances began to bring in more customers to the little tavern, resulting in more ‘fans’ and more guys and girls for Raja and Jinkx to have fun with. One night, she remembered seeing a young guy in the crowd, around their age, watching the show. Normally, Raja would’ve jumped him as soon as the set was over, but his eyes were on Sharon, and Sharon’s eyes were on him, and if this was her friend’s chance to get laid before she turned eighteen, then she’d have to let it happen.

 

It was so much more than that in the end. Sharon, now glowing with this new life, detailed all of her experiences to them with her eyes shining. She didn’t retell the stories like Raja did, mentioning the rough movements and emotional detachment from the whole thing. It seemed as though she loved him. Of course, she told them all about going rough and hard and fast, but it always seemed to end with cuddling, with kisses, with romantic walks on the beach as the sun set around them.

 

So now all three of them were living the hoe life. It was fun, but it didn’t last.

 

After Justin left, Sharon became solitary. She was never around in the daytime like she normally would be, to laugh with Raja and Jinkx and listen to stories and just have fun. Raja shared with Jinkx and Jinkx shared with Raja, and they only saw her when they were performing and a few times in between. She seemed distant.

 

Looking back, Raja knew now that it was because her sly dog of a once religious virgin friend had in fact been sneaking off to have rebound flings with two other guys in order to cope with her heartbreak. Back then, they’d just assumed she wanted to be alone.

 

So, to cut a long story short, the last of their group to lose her virginity, and the first of the group to ever be in love with someone she’d had sex with, had fallen pregnant. For a good year after the news was revealed to them - through a skin-tight costume that wouldn’t zip up and a tummy that seemed just a little too round to be puppy fat - the hoe life died down. Raja didn’t feel like she could just run off to find a guy and fuck him when her best friend was miserable, heartbroken, hormonal and alone. Call her selfish, but she also didn’t want to be caught in the same predicament.

 

With one of her best friends then busy with a newborn, Raja got back out into the dating pool, so to speak. At twenty one, she met her first husband. He was okay-looking, really, tanned with black hair and piercing eyes. Her father paid for the wedding, and he paid for Raja’s surgeries to enhance her bust, and he didn’t fuck too badly, but his lips were larger and faker than her own, and it started to put her off a little. One and a half years later, she divorced him.

 

“You paying him back for those?” Sharon had joked, tickling her then-five-year-old Trixie with one hand as she gestured at Raja’s chest with the other.

 

“Oh, please.” Raja had responded. “He paid for these and they’re still not as big as yours.”

 

Husband number two was a little better, but not much. He owned an international cruise line, so combining Raja’s family wealth with his was pretty luxurious. For a couple of years, she hardly saw her friends, communicating mostly through letters from wherever the cruise ship took them. It was a time of expensive face creams that contained flakes of gold, designer shoes, and world tours to places she’d never even dreamed of seeing.

 

But he was boring. Rich, handsome, and oh-so-boring. His every word was a drag, he was a complete drip, and he had the personality of wet toilet paper. He had to go, and two years later he was gone.

 

“Gold flakes…” Jinkx had mocked. “And what else? Donkey testicles? Mashed up goats liver? None of my girlfriends have ever cared if I look a little strange.”

 

Raja had shrugged and laughed. “If I want to day drink all year round, it’s the price I have to pay.”

 

“God, I haven’t day drank in forever. I haven’t night drank in forever. I’m busy being an adult whilst you guys go off and single-handedly date the entire planet.”

 

Husband three had taken a while to propose, which was getting on Raja’s nerves, but other than that minor flaw he was perfect. Handsome, well-off, and just the right amount of emotionally involved. He wouldn’t cling, he wouldn’t ignore her, it was just as close to perfect as she could get. That was her happiest wedding day, even if her father had drawn the line and refused to pay for it.

 

It really seemed like this one would stand the tests of time and Raja’s ever-changing nature.

 

“So you’ve finally found the one?” Sharon had asked, flipping through Raja’s years of wedding photos. In each picture from each wedding, Raja had a different husband and Jinkx had a different lady-friend (she wasn’t very into commitment), but Sharon had the same plus one - her daughter. It was no secret that her days of dating and sex seemed to be over already. She never expressed the feeling, but Raja could tell that it hurt her a little.

 

“I hope so. You think your man is waiting for you somewhere?” Raja had replied.

 

Sharon laughed mirthlessly. “Yeah, he’s out there.” She’d said bitterly. “With someone else, telling her she’s his soulmate.”

 

It really did last. Eleven years they were married, and Raja was pretty content. But it seemed that all good things came to an end, whether she wanted them to or not.

 

Truthfully, it was her fault. He was kind and sweet and he wanted to be a father. Raja, having intimately witnessed a pregnancy, the birth and watched the child grow up, didn’t want to be a mother. Of course it was magical for Sharon, and she’d never bash her friend for her decision - not after so fiercely defending her to people, even all these years later. Besides, she knew it would be different for her than it had been for Sharon, considering she was thirty six, twice the age that Sharon had been, but she was still put off. She’d never wanted children anyway, and the whole process freaked her out. For others, she was supportive. For herself, she was an inch away from disgusted.

 

It was just one of those differences that tears people apart. Their arrangement was no longer working, not really.

 

The divorce was a painful one. As she sobbed into Sharon’s chest, Jinkx awkwardly rubbing her back, it seemed to hit her at once that her friend was something of a superhero. Now that she was experiencing heartbreak, she finally understood what Sharon had been through and how hard it must’ve been to carry on. Yet the way she so expertly comforted her showed just how incredible of a mother she’d been, and how she’d relaxed into the role and learned exactly what to do.

 

Last time Raja had checked, even though she swore she wasn’t going to, his new wife - blonde, pretty, the works - was six months pregnant. Fine, that was fine. He’d moved on. Raja moved on too.

 

Her tricks were getting younger, truth be told. In recent years, the younger men had become even more open about their admiration for older ladies, and whilst Raja was in no way old, she appreciated the attention. With a little bit of Botox, she was pretty much the young man’s dream.

 

Still, hooking up with one of Sharon’s hotel slaves, as she so affectionately had nicknamed them, felt a little strange. Karl had told her that he was twenty one, so at the very least he was older than Trixie.

 

Admittedly, he was one of the better ones. He wasn’t disgustingly hairy, like some men who tried to approach her, but he also wasn’t pre-pubescent and hairless. Clean shaven, the way she liked it. He was fairly muscular, Filipino, and had a strange streak of blonde in his dark hair. Whether that was a fashion of the youth or not, she didn’t care. Raja still tugged on it in bed with him after the hen party had been infiltrated by the stag do.

 

He was skilled enough that, the next morning when Raja crept away so that she didn’t have to sleep besides him any longer, she simply went to beach and lay out in the sun to relax. Her energy was somewhat spent and she needed the ache to subside before she got ready for the wedding.

 

“Hey, babe.”

 

Raja didn’t even bother opening her eyes. “Babe?”

 

Karl lay down next to her, getting sand on the beach towel. “You heard me. I called you babe.”

 

“Oh, lord.” Raja scoffed. “Babe indeed. I could be your mother, near enough. Speaking of, where is she? Does she know you’re out?”

 

Karl rolled his eyes. “You can’t ignore the chemistry between us, Raj. I know you feel it. I know you felt it last night.”

 

He smiled, blindingly white teeth flashing in her direction. Raja hadn’t seen teeth that white since she’d flown out to the clinic to pay for a whitening herself.

 

“You’re so cute,” She teased, watching how he tried and failed to compose himself. “I know what you want, sweetcheeks. But you’re playing with fire, and your fingers are gonna get burnt.”

 

Karl seemed unfazed. “What if I’d walk through fire for you? What if I’m fireproof?”

 

Raja laughed, surprised at his persistence. “I like your style, kid. Just make sure you let your mother know that you’re out, honey.”

 

In one smooth motion, Karl rolled over so he was positioned above Raja, kissing along the marked spots on her neck and collarbone. He might’ve been young, but he smelled like sea-salt and he tasted like honey and he sent waves of fire rolling through her body. In all honesty, he was the first to actually make Raja feel young again. Like any minute now she’d be caught, messing around in the sand with a guy she knew almost nothing about. It was thrilling, but she couldn’t exactly let him win.

 

“Nice try,” Raja breathed, flipping him over. “Take it easy, slow down. That’s no way to go, now is it?”

 

Pinned underneath her, Karl smiled wickedly. “I don’t suppose you wanna show me how it should be done, then?”

 

Raja considered it. She could teach him a few new tricks, that would be fun. Combining the young man’s stamina with the older woman’s expertise would definitely, definitely be fun. But on the other hand, they had all the time in the world. It wasn’t like Raja had a stuffy old husband to go home to anymore - she didn’t have anyone waiting for her. Right now, the only person who wanted her attention was Karl, and he seemed happy to wait.

 

Besides; she had a wedding to get ready for. She’d wasted enough precious time fooling around in the sand. If she was going to look suitable for this wedding, she needed to start getting ready early. Plus, Sharon would throw an absolute fit if she knew that Raja was distracting one of her hotel slaves.

 

“Meet me after the wedding reception.” Raja told him, extending a long, tan leg close to his face. “Maybe then I’ll dance with you.”

 

—

 

Night had fallen by the time Trixie was changed, packed, and down at the docks ready to leave. Sharon had been rushing around in a flurry to ensure her daughter had everything she’d need, and then some. Call her over-protective and paranoid, but her little girl was leaving home for the first time, going out into the world to find adventures and experiences. It would be nerve-wracking for any mother.

 

Around the four of them, a chilly sea breeze blew. The sky was inky, the sea like molten silver as the moonlight glittered off the surface. Everything was still and silent, besides the bobbing of the little boat that would be taking Trixie and Brian to the mainland. Stars twinkled high above.

 

“You sure you’ve got everything?” Sharon worried, shivering on the deck. She rubbed her arms to try and warm them, and only moments later, Justin’s suit jacket had been placed over her shoulders.

 

Trixie smiled, humouring her. “Yes, mom. I was sure the first time, long before you triple-checked it all.”

 

Brian and Justin shared a laugh, their matching grins widening as Sharon playfully shoved them both.

 

“Alright, alright. Sorry. It’s a mom thing, I guess. Worrying so much.”

 

Shaking his head, Brian smiled. “Sharon, I’ll take good care of her, not that she needs it.”

 

Justin chuckled. “I’m sure after being raised by you, she could take on anything.”

 

“You’re probably right.” Sharon grinned. “Well. Don’t let me keep you waiting.”

 

Her tone changed; quieter, a little more forlorn. It had been the most perfect day ever, and there was no denying that, but goodbyes were always difficult. Sharon’s last goodbye had been tinged with heartbreak, and this one just felt like letting go. She’d always known, really, that the tiny baby who was lulled to sleep by her heartbeat and the gentle rocking of the chair would one day have to leave home. She herself had done it, albeit under different circumstances. Even so, as a mom, she wanted to keep Trixie wrapped up in swaddling blankets forever.

 

Trixie threw her arms around her in a hug, squeezing tight the way she always did. Sharon blinked back her tears when she pulled away, offering a weak smile and leaning forwards to hug Brian, too. Her heart skipped a few beats when she noticed Trixie hugging Justin, planting a kiss on his cheek and whispering her goodbyes.

 

It was like they were a real family.

 

“Go, go on already!” Sharon half-joked, pushing the two lovers towards their boat and trying to ignore how choked up she felt. “God, you kids… Driving me crazy, I tell you. Go on, go and see the world.”

 

Justin kissed the top of Sharon’s head and began to help Trixie and Brian loading their bags onto the boat. Before long they were waving goodbye, growing smaller and smaller in the horizon. Sharon didn’t stop waving until they were a mere dot in the distance, not visible against the night sky nor with Sharon’s rapidly-blurring vision.

 

“Hey, hey… It’s okay. I’m here.” Justin’s voice was gentle, calming. He pulled Sharon against his chest, sparing her the embarrassment of crying in front of him, and soothingly rubbed her back.

 

“My daughter just left home.” Sharon sniffed, muffled against his shirt. “I feel like the definition of not okay.”

 

He leant down and kissed the tip of her nose, making her giggle. “I know. But she said she’ll write, and she’s so excited for this. She’s like how we used to be.”

 

Justin began to walk away from the docks, one hand in Sharon’s, heading towards the taverna. “Remember? Life was so exciting. The world was this brand new place and we’d get to discover it all.”

 

Sharon snorted in spite of herself. “Of course I do. But don’t you think we’re a little old for that now?”

 

“Old? You make us sound like pensioners.” Justin laughed. “Babe, we’re both thirty eight. Not even forty yet. That’s not old. Some people call it the prime years.”

 

He nudged his wife suggestively, to which she burst out laughing. “Uh huh, sure. You really think we’re better now than we were twenty years ago? I’m saggier, fatter, wrinklier… the list goes on.”

 

“You’re so stupid. I don’t see any of that.” Justin defended her, squeezing her hand. “You’re curvy, you’re beautiful… you still have those slutty lips that I love.”

 

Sharon gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, acting scandalized. “Slutty lips?! And you call yourself a gentleman?!”

 

Justin shrugged. “So you’re saying that when we fuck, it won’t be as good as it used to be? You’re not slutty anymore?”

 

“No! I’m not saying that!”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“I don’t know, it sounds like that’s what you’re saying.”

 

“It won’t be worse! It’ll be better!”

 

“Prove it.”

 

The challenging gleam in Justin’s eyes sent waves of heat rolling through Sharon’s body. Fuck, she’d missed him. The taunts, the teasing, the dirty talk and the mischievous behaviour. It was ridiculous that she could still feel like she was eighteen even now, just being in his presence. He hadn’t changed a bit, and he was making her run wild.

 

“We’re not going to make it to my house, are we?” Sharon asked, half-joking, half-sultry and narrow-eyed.

 

Justin’s face was a picture of bliss. “Mmm… I don’t think so. But hey, I see our cabin is still standing. Maybe we should re-acquaint ourselves.”

 

Sharon shook her head, laughing. “You… you’re the reason I’m so bad. Cabin it is, before I fucking explode.”

*

The two of them all but ran to the cabin, Justin’s arms flying to Sharon’s waist as she kicked the door closed. As soon as they were alone he kissed her, and it was everything and nothing like she remembered. It was the same passion, the same fire, but his soft lips were accompanied by scratchy stubble and his arms were stronger and more defined than they’d been twenty years ago.

 

“Bed,” Sharon demanded as she broke the kiss, pulling Justin across the cabin and into the small, doorless bedroom. The bed was decently sized, fitted with clean white sheets that told Justin that Sharon had been taking care of the cabin even after all this time. He kissed her again, laying her down on the bed and slotting a leg between her thighs as her tongue dipped into his mouth.

 

“Told you I love these slutty lips,” he mumbled against her mouth, hands pushing her skirt up her hips. Sharon chuckled, unbuttoning Justin’s shirt and shoving it off his shoulders before trailing a hand down his chest. He was softer than he’d been before, no longer skinny and gangly, and he shivered under her touch after twenty years of deprivation.

 

“You’ve certainly aged better than I have,” Sharon grinned as he tossed his hair in mock vanity.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, babe, you don’t look a day over twenty-five.”

 

Sharon scoffed. “Sure.”

 

“I mean it,” he insisted, moving the top of her dress down too so that the garment was bunched around her waist. “You’re gorgeous no matter how you look. Also, no bra? Really? It’s like you planned this.”

 

Sharon laughed and shrugged, her giggle turning into a low moan as Justin rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. “You’ll be happy to know I decided against going commando while we sent our daughter and her boyfriend off to travel the world.”

 

Justin smiled, snapping the elastic of her underwear against her hip and grinning wider when she yelped in surprise. “You’re so beautiful.”

 

Sharon rolled her eyes, pulling him in for another kiss.

 

“Can you cut the crap and fuck me already?” she mumbled against his lips, pulling his hands down to rest on her thighs and placing her own hands on his hips. He laughed as she cupped his growing erection through his trousers, squeezing lightly and making him groan.

 

“So needy, always so needy,” he teased, shucking off his trousers while Sharon freed herself completely from her dress. She let out a low moan as his long, slender fingers teased her through the fabric of her panties, feeling her beginning to get wet from his touch. “Shh, patience, love. I’m gonna make you feel so good. Just like old times, eh?”

 

“I’d say a bit different. I’m not the skinny little slip of a thing I used to be.”

 

“Sharon Needles, can you stop putting yourself down for a moment and let me worship you the way you deserve? God, you’re still so stubborn.” Sharon nearly protested, but then Justin’s fingers were pushing her underwear aside and grazing over her folds, and she could only let out a soft moan. “That shut you up, huh?”

 

“Shut up and fuck me,” Sharon demanded, pushing his hand away and her panties down with it. Justin shot her one of those stupidly adorable grins of his as he slid out of his own underwear and kissed at her jaw and neck again. “Jesus, babe, age made you slow.”

 

“If you want to get fucked, you’ll stop complaining,” Justin growled softly, one hand squeezing lightly at the sides of her throat. Sharon felt another rush of heat pass through her body; she’d always been a sucker for Justin showing dominance, and it seemed as though nothing much had changed in the two decades they’d been apart. His hand moved to rest at the base of her throat, barely even touching her, and she raised an eyebrow.

 

“You’ve still got it,” she said appreciatively. “Thought you might.”

 

“Course I do,” Justin replied, sliding his hand down her body to spread her open and press a finger into her, making her whine. “You drive me crazy, Sharon.”

 

“More, Justin,” she complained, arching up into his touch as he added a second finger and his thumb found her sensitive bud. “Christ, fuck me. I’ve waited long enough.”

 

“We both have,” Justin agreed as he drew his fingers out of her and lined up with her entrance. “You sure you don’t wanna change positions?”

 

“It’s not gonna do my back any favors,” she answered. “Told you I wasn’t the kid I used to be.”

 

“Shush,” Justin bade her, running his thumb across her lower lip and gazing into her eyes with so much love she thought she might melt. She hadn’t seen him look at her like that in all their years apart, and if she was telling the truth, no one could ever fill the gap Justin had left in her life. But he was here now, his hands on her thighs, his lips on her lips, and oh, how Sharon had missed him. He was hot and hard against her, and when he pressed just past her entrance she sighed.

 

“More, baby,” she encouraged, pulling him down by the shoulders to kiss the corner of his mouth.

 

“You sure, love? It’s been a long time and I-”

 

“I’m sure,” Sharon promised, all but a whisper against his skin. He pushed a little further, and Sharon’s back arched to take him deeper into her warmth, kissing him deep and hard. She didn’t stop until his hips were flush against hers and he was buried inside her completely, and he panted against her neck as they both adjusted to the sensations wracking their bodies.

 

“You… oh, Sharon, you feel so good,” Justin groaned, gasping when she clenched around him with a smirk. When he rolled his hips, she whimpered loudly, kissing him desperately.

 

“I’ve been desperate to have your cock inside me for the last twenty years,” she mumbled roughly, “Memories are never as good as the real thing. I’ve never- fuck– I’ve never been this full.”

 

“No one else,” Justin promised as he withdrew a few inches before pushing back in, making Sharon gasp. “No one else can do it like you, babe. No one else can take it like you.”

 

“Please, baby,” she begged as he began to increase the pace and depth of his thrusts, his grip on her hips so tight she was sure there would be bruises later. “Fuck, J-Justin…” Justin was perfection, he always had been; he filled her so completely and took her apart effortlessly, making her feel like she was coming apart at the seams and melting into the mattress. She didn’t know his history after he’d left the island– there would be time for that later –but there was no doubt that he’d only grown more skilled with age. It was like he could see right through her and into the place where she kept her deepest desires; every single thrust was perfect, his steady rhythm sending waves of pleasure through her body unlike anything she’d experienced since their last time together. He knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed, and he kissed her with all the passion and sweetness of a first love that had never really faded.

 

Desire coursed through Sharon like a wildfire, igniting every nerve in her body and setting her alight with pleasure. She could tell Justin was nearing the edge from the way that his hips began to stutter slightly, but he was doing an astounding job of keeping his steady pace. Sharon pulled her legs to her chest, changing the angle and allowing him to move even deeper inside her, speeding up and fucking her harder and faster. The bed rocked against the wall of the cabin as Justin lost his controlled rhythm and gave into his body, letting Sharon pull him down for a kiss as his hips slammed against her soft thighs.

 

Sharon came first, a hoarse shout of ecstasy leaving her lips as every single thrust of Justin’s hips allowed him to ram against the spot deep inside her that made her see stars. Her nails raked down his back as she threw her head back and sobbed with the sheer pleasure of it all, drawing a hiss from Justin and resulting in him planting sloppy kisses all over her mouth like a teenager with poor aim. He finished with a rough cry of “Sharon,” and a final snap of his hips, coming deep and hard inside her and all but collapsing on her chest. The two of them lay like that for several moments, completely spent and trying to catch their breath, and Sharon’s lips lingered against Justin’s cheek, her fingers running over the angry red marks she’d created on his skin.

 

“I’m sorry about that,” she chuckled, “I guess you really do make me feel young again.” Justin let out a breathless laugh at that, carefully pulling out of her and moving to collapse on the bed beside her. She nestled herself into his arms, slotting her thigh between his legs.

 

“Just like old times, mm?”

 

“Just like the good old days,” Sharon agreed teasingly. “I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d be able to do better than we used to. I’m impressed.”

 

Justin smiled lazily, shifting slightly and kissing Sharon’s cheek. “Wanna know what pushed me over the edge?”

 

“Sure,” she laughed, “But proceed with caution.”

 

“I was thinking about how beautiful you looked under me, and then I just had the thought pop into my head that wow, that’s my wife. You’re my wife.”

 

Sharon let out an airy laugh, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “Mhmm,” she hummed contentedly, “Never thought I’d see the day.”

 

“…Sharon?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too, baby.”

 

—

 

Justin wasn’t an idiot.

 

For his first move after the wedding, he’d told Sharon in no uncertain terms that she needed a break. After all, he’d witnessed how frantic she was for the few days that he’d been on the island. He could’ve sworn that she didn’t sleep, eat or relax at any point, just work work work. She needed a break, some time off.

 

Of course, time had slightly altered his memories of just how stubborn she was. There was no way she was going to be leaving her hotel, not a chance in Heaven or Hell. She’d put her foot down and that was it, decision made.

 

Only Justin wasn’t that much of a pushover, and so began their at-home honeymoon. The young men, guided by Raja and Jinkx, were in charge of the hotel for a while, whilst Sharon and Justin roamed around the island, enjoying their time together.

 

It was nice to watch her relax, really. In the sunlight, with her hair cascading down her back rather than tied up, and her face smooth rather than pinched with stress, she could’ve passed for eighteen again. He’d forgotten just how captivating her eyes were, a deeper blue than any expanse of ocean they could see. He’d forgotten how funny her laugh was, the utter cackle that came out of her. He’d forgotten the beauty in her smile.

 

Really, he could spend all day listing off the beautiful things that he started to remember during their at-home honeymoon, but Sharon wouldn’t give him the chance. She was as needy and desperate as the day they’d met, and he certainly wasn’t complaining.

 

It wasn’t all sex, though. Sometimes they both needed a break, and they had twenty one years of talking to do.

 

“Jinkx took this, about two hours after I gave birth. Look at her tiny little fist around my finger.” Sharon held up the photo so Justin could see. Heart squeezing, he wrapped his arms around his wife even tighter.

 

“I can’t believe I never knew about all this.” He replied, refusing to take his eyes off his then-newborn daughter. “She looks so much like you.”

 

Sharon chuckled. “She always did. I miss her so much.”

 

That day, Sharon had taken Justin on her proper tour of her tiny home. He already knew what the rooms looked like, having stayed there since the wedding, but she took him around to the lumps and bumps and chips and cracks, naming each one as incidents that had happened when Trixie was little - all the parts of their lives that he’d missed. Now, he saw the house in a whole new light, full of life and memories and little remnants of the past.

 

“This one is sweet.” Justin picked up another of the photos spread across Sharon’s - their - bed. “How old is she here?”

 

The photo showed Trixie, cheesing at the camera from her perch on Sharon’s shoulders. Her blonde hair was in two plaits, with a pink cowboy hat on her head and a blue princess dress. Sharon was giggling up at her daughter, seemingly unaware that the photo was being taken, in a summer dress that matched Trixie’s.

 

Sharon studied it, smiling faintly, then flipped it over. On the back, almost illegible writing read ‘Princess Trixabelle Parton (3) and Mama Sharon (21) go on an adventure to the marketplace to find some lunch (MS) and defeat some evil (PTP).’

 

“Those were the days.” She murmured, biting her lip. “I used to wonder how different my life would be without having Trixie, but she made everything better. I’m sure drinking at twenty one is fun, but playing with Princess Trixabelle Parton was fun too. There’s no comparison.”

 

Justin kissed her forehead. “God, you’re fucking magical, you know that?”

 

Sharon’s eyes were bright with unshed tears, which she dabbed at in an unsuccessful attempt to prevent them from falling. In spite of herself, she giggled a little.

 

“I can’t believe she’s all gr-grown up, I still worry about her so much. She better send me another letter soon.” She paused. “I really miss these days.”

 

Unable to stand the sight of her tears, Justin pulled Sharon closer and closer until her face was buried in his chest yet again. Once he could feel her sobs gently deteriorating into laughter, he pulled her away and tucked the photo into his pocket.

 

“I’ll tell you what. We should go on our own market adventure today. Let’s buy something weird and make a day of it. We could even take a boat to the mainland and see if Trixie’s sent anything for us. I asked the guy on the boat when he gave you the letter last week, and he said that he’s happy to pass on letters but we’ll have to collect any parcels for ourselves.”

 

Sharon considered him. “You know what… that sounds nice! I’ll get dressed, hold on.”

 

In a matter of moments, she’d removed her pyjama top with an extravagant flourish, causing Justin to burst into laughter.

 

“I swear I’ve put weight on, this is your fault.” She balled the shirt up and threw it at Justin’s head, childishly blowing raspberries at him when he ducked and missed it. “Look at me!”

 

She poked her stomach, puffing her cheeks out. Rolling his eyes, Justin threw her shirt back.

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Put some clothes on, nympho.”

 

Sharon laughed appreciatively. “Fair, fair. Do you think we could skip the market, though? Recently the smell of all the fish has been making me really nauseous, and I don’t wanna throw up on you in that shirt. You look good in that shirt.”

 

It wasn’t long after their day out that Justin started to suspect. Of course, he’d never blindly say a thing out loud, for fear of castration via kitchen knives, but he was definitely beginning to notice a few telling changes, even if Sharon wasn’t. The nausea, for example. The breath-taking way she’d started to fill her clothes.

 

In fact, he tried to mention it to her once. She was having none of it.

 

“Nope. Where did you get that from?”

 

“I just thought maybe-”

 

“You’re crazy, Justin. I love you, but you’re crazy.”

 

“I mean, we have been-”

 

“It’s just not realistic, babe!”

 

“It’s possible, I guess I just-”

 

“Possible? At my age?”

 

“You’re not old! In fact, you’re perfectly-”

 

“You’re off your head, babe. I think the sea salt is getting to your brain.”

 

“But don’t you think-”

 

“Nah, it can’t be. Justin, I’m not pregnant.”

 

So they dropped the subject. She wasn’t, because Justin was clearly crazy and seeing things that weren’t there. She continued to deny it even when he hadn’t brought it up, which made him laugh. Justin knew Sharon wasn’t exactly… bright. Eventually she’d catch on.

 

‘Eventually’ turned out to be a week from their debate. Justin was sprawled across the bed, half-asleep in sweatpants and a face-mask that she’d insisted they both try. He was forced awake as the bathroom door slammed open, revealing a distressed Sharon with a mouthful of toothpaste foam, a toothbrush in one hand and a pregnancy test in the other.

 

“‘Ow did thi’ ‘appen?” She managed to say, leaning into the sink to spit and then returning. “How?!”

 

Justin shrugged. “I guess someone decided that the best way to clean your teeth is with a little brush on the end of a stick, so you can really get in there and scrub.”

 

Sharon dropped the toothbrush. “Not that, doofus. This!”

 

“Did… Did you forget that we’ve been having like… a lot of sex?” Justin tried.

 

She shook her head. “Well, of course not.”

 

“And the fact that we ran out of condoms within a week?”

 

“No.”

 

“And that when I told you, you said it didn’t matter and we didn’t need any more?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well… that’ll be why.”

 

Justin watched Sharon’s face, trying to gauge her feelings. She was almost impossible to read sometimes, what with years of hiding her feelings under her belt. He decided to tread carefully, pushing down the rising excitement that he felt inside him.

 

“But… we’re old!” She protested. “I really didn’t think this could happen, if I’m honest.”

 

Smiling gently, Justin beckoned her to come and lay on the bed with him. The sun was just starting to set, and as she nestled into his arms, golden sunlight filtered through the window and made patterns on the wall. Sharon kept staring at the test in her hand, encompassed by Justin’s warmth.

 

“How do you feel about this?” He whispered.

 

Sharon swallowed. “It’s… unexpected. How… how do you feel?”

 

“I feel amazing.” He admitted quietly, his heart softening as Sharon smiled. “I can be here for you this time, every step of the way.”

 

He placed his hand on top of Sharon’s, both of them on her stomach. For a few, peaceful moments, they lay there in silence.

 

Sharon was first to break it. “God, I can’t believe those bitches were right. It’s like Raja and Jinkx can predict the fucking future.”

 

Justin laughed. “Well. As I’m sure you’ll remember, I’m in if you’re in.”

 

The nostalgia registered on Sharon’s face instantly. The first time they’d met - all those years ago - the two of them said it a lot. When faced with a freezing cold plunge pool and no clothes, Justin simply shrugged “I’m in if you’re in.” When coming up with a plan to cause some minor havoc, the two of them in pain from laughing so hard, Sharon managed “I’m in if you’re in!”

 

It had been years since either of them had said or even heard those words.

 

“I’m in.”


	8. Epilogue: Part Two

In all honesty, Trixie wasn’t sure she was going to go on a honeymoon at first. As she planned the wedding with her mom, the only thing on her mind was that her mom would struggle to cope. Trixie was in no position to be gallivanting off to the four corners of the world, seeing and exploring because of her frivolous dreams. She was old enough to know that money was tight, the workload was excessive and Sharon would struggle to complete it all without Trixie’s help. 

Of course, she could never say it out loud. She’d planned a honeymoon just so that her mom didn’t question her. Sharon would be mortified if she knew that Trixie had actually planned to stay at home after the wedding, and continue her work. She’d insist that Trixie went out to see the world, found a home elsewhere - but Trixie just knew she couldn’t.

It wasn’t fair.

But things changed on the day of the wedding. With Trixie unmarried, and Sharon now married, she didn’t see why she couldn’t travel the world. Her mom had someone to care for her, even if she swore up and down that she didn’t need to be taken care of. It was no secret that she worked too much, and he could make her take a break. Additionally, they’d want some privacy for a honeymoon of their own - which was the least that Trixie could do for them.

So, with bright smiles and teary eyes, Trixie and Brian sailed away from the island she’d grown up on, heading for the musty airport that would take them all over the world.

They saw America, from California to Texas to Florida to New York. They made their way through South America, visiting the beaches and cities in Brazil and Argentina and Peru and Mexico. They toured Europe, starting in Scotland and making their way round to Ireland, back to Wales and then to England, to France and Spain and Portugal and Germany, moving further and further across the map. Trixie could hardly name all the places they’d been to, the things they’d seen. To her, it was a jumble of new places and new sights and new people and new experiences.

Brian somehow retained everything, which Trixie loved. He rattled off random facts about the cities they had walked through, hand in hand whether it was raining or sunny. He’d even gone to the extent of buying a huge world map, marking the places they’d been with little hearts. To anyone who asked, they were on an unofficial honeymoon. Everything was perfect.

“I miss my mom. Does that make me childish?” Trixie asked one night. She was already in the hotel bed, tucked up to her chin under the thick sheets, waiting for Brian to finish brushing his teeth. When he came in, flashing a pure-white smile, he shook his head.

“No way. I miss your mom too.” He replied, deadly serious. “You’ve written to her, though. At least you know she’s not worrying too much about you.”

Trixie sighed. “Yeah. You’re right. I just wish she could write back, you know? But it takes so long for my letters to arrive from wherever the hell we are when I write them, and then by the time she responds we could be anywhere else! I want to know how she’s doing.”

“Well, judging by your nosy snooping, I’m sure she’s doing just fine with her new beau.”

After Brian had been told the full story - the diary, the three guys, Sharon’s story - he seemed quite amused by the whole situations. Letting him read the diary had definitely been a mistake, though. He thought it was absolutely hilarious, and whilst reading about your mom’s sexual escapades in hopes of finding your dad is one thing, reading it with your boyfriend whilst he laughs is another thing entirely.

“Gross, Brian. You promised not to talk about my mom like that!” Trixie told him off, shoving him as he climbed into bed. Grinning, he wrapped his arms around her tightly, clinging like koala as she struggled.

“I promise not to promise things, such as myself to you and talking about your mom.” Brian said. “Hey, we’re not out here much longer. This is our last week, then you get to see her again.”

For a while, there was a peaceful silence. Trixie had almost fallen asleep until Brian interrupted it.

“Do you think Sharon married Justin because she loves him, or because he’s your dad?”

Trixie rolled over. “Both. We don’t know for sure, but we both… we both think it’s him. And it’s clear how much she loved him then and loves him still.”

Things felt calm. Their previous drama and stress was over. Trixie had seen things she’d never dreamt of seeing in her lifetime, that were worlds apart from the sandy beaches and simple life of her home. Though she missed it dearly, things felt good. As she fell asleep, in the last week of her honeymoon, she dreamt of a happy family, reunited on the Greek shores.

On their flight home, however, Trixie didn’t fall asleep to happy dreams as she had most nights on their trip. A childish excitement had stirred up ever since they’d boarded the plane, with the knowledge that soon enough, she’d be home again. Having grown up alone, Sharon was a combination of a mom, a sister and a best friend, rolled into one. Trixie missed her beyond belief.

With Brian fast asleep on her shoulder, Trixie had alternated between reading her book - a strangely exciting story detailing the love, loss and drama of a new political figure - and making small talk to the old lady sat beside her.

They’d chatted mundanely for a few hours, partially because Trixie felt bad for her. She was clearly travelling alone, with a sad look on her face. At a guess, Trixie would put her at mid-seventies. Her grey hair was swept into an elegant, but slightly dated bun, and was mostly grey. Despite her morose expression, she had a kind face and spoke in a friendly manner, introducing herself as Joan.

“So, what’s bringing you to Greece?” She asked.

Trixie glanced over at Brian, peacefully sleeping, and smiled to herself. “Coming home from a vacation. It’s a pretty long story, but it was kind of a not-honeymoon. What about you?”

Joan sighed quietly. “Returning home, too.”

“Oh, whereabouts in Greece do you live? The mainland?”

“Not… quite.” She said uneasily. “I don’t live there, not anymore. I used to, a long time ago, but unfortunately this time, I’m being brought back by a tragedy, if you will.”

Trixie furrowed her brow. “I’m so sorry, I hope you’re okay.”

For a moment, Joan was silent, frowning to herself. Something about the look on her face was incredibly familiar, but Trixie had no idea why. As far as she knew, she had never met this woman in her life until now. Yet somehow, there was a lingering sense of familiarity.

“I’ll tell you this: you’re young, and you can learn from my mistakes.” Joan turned, staring straight at Trixie. “Teach yourself to forgive. Someone I loved dearly made a mistake once, and I didn’t forgive them. My… My husband’s recent passing has made me realize that life is short and can easily be wasted. I have a fear now that it may be too late to forgive this person, or that quite rightly they won’t forgive me. Learn it young, and don’t make my mistake.”

Trixie nodded thoughtfully. She wanted to further comfort the old woman, but she wasn’t sure what she could say to make any of it better. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how lonely it must’ve felt. Her whole life, even if it wasn’t much, she’d always had her mom. Family was the one thing that Trixie knew she’d always have. Joan had nothing.

“I don’t see why they won’t forgive you.” Trixie said eventually. “Time is supposed to heal all wounds, isn’t it?”

Joan smiled sadly. “So they say. But some mistakes don’t deserve to be forgiven. You surely wouldn’t forgive your mother for kicking you out.”

Trixie frowned. “She wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Then she’s a good mother. I wasn’t.”

“H-Her mother kicked her out.” Trixie found herself saying. “She was pregnant really young, and she was kicked out as soon as she found out about me. She never let it stop her, if anything she grew from it.”

Joan listened intently. “Would she forgive, do you think?”

Trixie shrugged. “She’s… very headstrong. I was never really allowed to ask questions about Nana. She always said we didn’t need her because we had each other.”

“Gosh, she sounds just like my daughter.” Joan smiled, a hint of bittersweet sorrow tainting the happy expression. “She was a firecracker, she did what she pleased. Nowadays it’s celebrated, but we all thought it was shameful behaviour back then.”

Somewhat detective-like in manner, Trixie noted that Joan had said ‘daughter’, rather than ‘someone’. She wasn’t sure why, but the genuineness of the older woman beside her made her want to help unravel the story. She seemed kind and deeply regretful, and the idea of her being able to reconcile with her daughter made Trixie feel all warm inside. Perhaps one day, Sharon would be able to meet with her mom and their broken relationship could also be fixed.

But maybe Trixie was thinking ahead a little too much. Next to her, Brian snored quietly, jolting her back into real life.

“Either way, you have to try.” Trixie affirmed. “There’s no way you can receive forgiveness without asking for it. No matter how scary, you have to try.”

Joan nodded. “You’re very wise for such a young woman. I’m impressed, dear.”

Trixie grinned. “That’s all down to my mom. She’s the best woman I’ll ever know, guaranteed.”

She showed Joan the photograph on the lockscreen of her phone - Sharon and Trixie smiling together on the hotel courtyard, just after Sharon had ended up getting married to Justin. Standing side-by-side, their identical smiles made them look almost like twins.

Upon seeing the photo, Joan faltered for a moment, as if there was a flicker of recognition in her eyes. Within moments it had faded, and the older woman seemed to shake herself, smiling at the image. Trixie brushed off the sudden change in her expression.

“She’s very beautiful, like you. How old are you, dearest?”

Trixie blushed. “I’m twenty.”

Once again, Joan’s face fell for a moment before she regained her composure. The change was ever so slight that Trixie wasn’t sure she’d actually seen it or not.

“This was what was supposed to be my wedding. Me and Brian here were engaged, but we called it off because it felt too soon. My mom ended up getting married instead, but that’s an even longer story. Let’s just say, I threw her life into chaos for a few days and she managed to forgive me.”

Joan chuckled. “I see. Well, Trixie, it’s been lovely talking to you. I should probably rest now, but I’ve enjoyed your company a lot. Thank you.”

“It’s no trouble. Goodnight,” Trixie finished amiably, settling back into her novel. Every page took her a little bit closer to home, and that was all she needed.

—

“TONY! TONY!” Trixie yelled, waving as hard as she could from the docks. “TONY!”

She was running, one hand wheeling her suitcase behind her as Brian lugged the rest, burdened with the weight of it all. As soon as they’d touched down back in Greece, with the sun just an hour away from rising, she’d purchased a garland of fresh flowers from a local street vendor on the mainland and was wearing them around her neck. They bounced as she ran, tangling over her white vest.

Tony, one of the sailors who took people back and forth from the mainland to the island, was a few feet out into the small stretch of sea, fishing by himself. Usually, he would only take passengers on Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays, but Trixie knew he’d make an exception for her. Much like many islanders, though he wasn’t one himself, he had watched Trixie grow up.

“EH? ÀNGELOS? IS THAT YOU?”

The nickname of ‘angel’ had arisen simply from her blonde hair, a trait which both Sharon and Trixie had. It was a little more uncommon on the island, of traditionally olive-skinned and dark-haired residents, so many referred to her in such a way. Brian, however, still grumbled that he needed to stop making a move on his almost-wife.

“You’re so stupid.” Trixie giggled, kissing his nose. “TONY? CAN YOU TAKE US HOME?”

Tony nodded, and in no time he had sailed back from his perch, handing his fish to one of the market vendors with a shrug. He and Brian carried their bags onto the little boat, and soon enough they were sailing in the early morning sun, ready to go home.

The warm sunshine and cool sea-spray on Trixie’s skin felt so nice. Of course, some of the places they’d been had the same kind of weather, but nowhere felt as right and as natural as her home did. Part of her was convinced that, at this point, she could memorise the exact pattern of the waves beneath her.

“I’m so excited. I feel like it’s been forever since we saw my mom.” Trixie breathed, spreading her arms wide to take in as much as she could.

“Almost four months.” Brian agreed. “Three and half, I think. Have you ever been away from her that long?”

Trixie shook her head. “Nope. I think a week might be the longest.”

“Christ.”

“I never needed to!” Trixie defended herself, laughing. “Anyway, it was probably for the best this time. She deserves some time to relax and celebrate with her new husband.”

Brian wrapped his arms around her waist. “Yeah, you’re right. Justin’s a cool guy, I need to hang out with him. You and Sharon can have a girly catch up, and we’ll have some bro time.”

“Sick of me already?” Trixie teased, mock-offended. “I’m kidding. But no offence to either of you, I don’t think you’ll be having bro time. You’re not exactly the bro type.”

Brian hummed. “I guess not. Man to man time, then.”

“If that’s what you wanna call it. Me and mom just call it, you know, friendship.” Trixie shrugged.

“That works too.” Brian said, and then burst out laughing. “Hey, look, land ahoy.”

Before Trixie could react to Brian’s statement, or make a dumb pirate joke as she normally would, she spotted the edges of the island beginning to form in the horizon. There it was, her home; tall and hilly and with white buildings and white sand and beautiful memories permeating the entire place. Her heart warmed at the mere sight of it.

“I’m home!” She trilled, squeezing Brian’s hand. “Oh my god, I’ve missed it so much. I’m home!”

Trixie squealed and bounced like a little girl for the entire rest of the journey, when Tony assisted their bags off and waved them goodbye. Within seconds, she’d discarded her shoes and was running in the sand, revelling in the knowledge that she was actually, really home.

“Trix? Bags?” Brian tried.

Same as before, Trixie wheeled her one suitcase up the steps, as Brian struggled with the rest of it. It was still early in the morning, so the two of them had time to creep into their new home and dump the luggage there. Sharon had fixed up one of the old parts of the hotel that was no longer used - a similar area to where she had raised Trixie - for the two lovers, as a wedding gift. They had their own little place, with two storeys and a balcony onto the sea, but they were never more than ten minutes from Sharon, should they need her help. Trixie knew they definitely would in the coming years.

“I always thought pink was the prettiest colour,” Trixie remarked, looking around at the teal that made up the entirety of their interior. “But this is seriously beautiful. I love it.”

She flopped backwards onto the bed, breathing deeply. “Mm, fresh sheets… and they smell of sandalwood! My mom is amazing.”

Brian laughed, throwing some clothes at Trixie so they could change out of their airport garb into something more topical. As the sun properly rose, filling the room with light, Trixie watched the sea ebbing and flowing. A sense of peace washed over her, like the tide erasing the stress of a day’s footprints along the beach. She was a clean slate.

After freshening up a little, Brian joined her on the balcony. Their view was amazing - they could see the whole of the beach, and a little of the courtyard where hotel guests ate and hung around during the day. As usual, the washing lines were all still strung up, with colourful sheets flapping around in the breeze.

“Sheets are still up. Your mom must be slacking.” Brian nudged her and grinned. “She’s usually up by now, isn’t she?”

Trixie shoved him, even though he was right. “Hey! She’s just gotten married, she deserves a vacation! Her idea of a vacation probably is starting work at six thirty instead of five, anyway.”

Not long after she spoke, Trixie spotted two figures walking into the courtyard. Though they had their backs to her, she knew exactly who they were instantly.

“There, see! Mom and Justin.”

Brian nodded appraisingly. “Guess you’re right. Speak of the devil and she shall appear. In a skirt, no less.”

For most people, the observation would’ve been a little pointless, but it made sense to Trixie. Sharon never wore the kind of long, flowing skirts that she was wearing today, preferring to wear practical clothing that she could work in. Her usual attire was denim dungarees, patched up at the knees where the material had worn thin from her constant toiling. It was beyond unusual to see her in a skirt, but Trixie thought nothing of it for the time being.

“Come on, come on, we have to go down and say hi! I can’t remember what they look like anymore.” She exaggerated, giggling. Her eyes lingered for a couple of seconds on the pair, tearing down the coloured sheets into baskets and laughing together, before she turned away.

“Hurry, Brian!”

They made their way down towards the courtyard as fast as they could, now unencumbered with bags and suitcases. A childish thrill was still holding Trixie’s chest, causing her heart to hammer and thump with sheer excitement. Even though she’d kept on about it, she truly hadn’t realised the extent of how much she’d missed home.

The sound of their footsteps skidding onto the stones caused both Sharon and Justin to turn in unison. Upon seeing her mom’s face, Trixie gasped in delight.

“Trixie! Oh, my baby girl!”

The two all but ran towards one another, hugging as tightly as they possibly could. Trixie couldn’t see, hear or smell anything other than her mom, the most amazing woman she’d ever known. Everything about her was home, especially the tight-squeeze of her full body hug. Trixie blinked back tears, just about managing to subdue them as they talked without breaking apart.

“Oh, my girl. I’ve missed you so much on all your adventures. You need to tell me everything,” Sharon rushed out, all of her words spoken into Trixie’s neck.

Trixie responded by squeezing even tighter. “Of course, of course. Oh, mom, it’s so amazing to see you again. I’ve missed you every single day.”

“You’ve been gone so long, my gorgeous girl. So many things I want to talk to you about.”

At last, Trixie pulled away from the hug, gazing lovingly at her mom’s face. As she had expected, she looked happier - younger, even, like she’d taken a dip in the fountain of youth. Her blue eyes were sparkling, and a pink flower was tucked into her hair, presumably by Justin.

However, her eyes didn’t stay searching Sharon’s face for long. They soon wandered down, noting the definite curve of her stomach that hadn’t been there before. As both Trixie and Brian stared at it, wide-eyed, Justin wrapped an arm around Sharon’s waist and tenderly kissed her temple.

“Welcome home, Trixie.” Sharon said, her voice impossibly soft.

Trixie’s mind was reeling. “Mom, you’re…”

“You’re not upset, are you?” Justin’s tone was gentle.

It took Trixie a moment to realize that they were nervous about her reaction. Sharon was chewing her lip, uncharacteristically insecure, and Justin was rubbing her back. He seemed to be hiding it better, though there was a hint of doubt in his usually-twinkling eyes.

“Upset?” Trixie asked incredulously. “How could… How could I be upset? You’re having a baby! You’re really pregnant!”

At that, Sharon’s face split into a grin, a mixture of relief and tearfulness all in one. Both Trixie and Brian rushed forwards to congratulate the pair. It was possibly the most unexpected news they could’ve heard, but Trixie was positively ecstatic about it. Images of a tiny baby had already started flitting into her mind. Would it be a boy or a girl? Would they have Sharon’s eyes, or Justin’s hair? For the second time that day, Trixie was sure she could feel her heart swelling with love.

“How long have you known about this?” Brian asked. Trixie was overjoyed to see the excited smile on his face, mirroring her own emotions.

Justin beamed. “We went to the twelve-week scan on Monday, so nearly thirteen weeks. It’s already been such an amazing ride.”

“You’ve seen nothing yet, babe.” Sharon laughed. “It’s not all fun and games and cold jelly. Well, not for me anyway.”

Justin shook his head. “Gross or ugly or whatever will happen, I’m here every step of the way. That’s the least you deserve.”

Brian frowned. “Correct me if my maths is wrong, however I had an incredibly comprehensive mathematical education back in Mother Russia so I doubt this frivolous linguistic formality very much, but twelve weeks is three months, yes?”

Sharon nodded. “Yes, I’m three months pregnant. Hence the slightly more forgiving loose skirt.”

“So this happened pretty much straight after the wedding? Justin, you sly dog.”

As they cracked up, Trixie protested. “Hey! Don’t call my dad a sly dog!”

She wasn’t sure why ‘dad’ had came out, nor why it sounded so natural, but it made her stop and smile briefly, her protest suddenly forgotten. Whether the genetics agreed or not, this was her dad, stood with her mom, and Trixie was going to have a little sibling.

From then on, they eased back into a somewhat altered version of their usual routine. Justin, it seemed, had insisted on taking on the physical work, so that Sharon didn’t have to. She still pottered around like mad, doing laundry and sweeping and cleaning and cooking for their few guests. Trixie had noticed a proper reception was now set up, with one singular computer, antennae and wifi-box courtesy of Willam, which meant that a few more people were beginning to hear about the place. There was currently a total of twelve - two groups of young vacationers that had heard about the place from the new-fangled website. It sounded small, but it was their most in years.

Each morning, after Sharon had taken down the dried laundry, folded it away and cooked breakfast for the guests, Trixie and Sharon would head down to the beach, to walk, relax and catch up in the sunshine. By lunch, Justin and Brian would’ve finished most physical work and they’d eat lunch as a family on the sand. Evenings were spent finishing off any odd jobs, Sharon cooking dinner for the guests, and then spending their free time however they wanted, but usually together.

It was perfect.

Justin, for one, was loving the new routine. He got to wake up next to his beautiful wife and spend the days with his daughter and her boyfriend, like a real family would. Of course, Sharon would always protest that it really wasn’t that glamorous, but Justin begged to differ.

He didn’t care that he had to hold back Sharon’s hair as she was sick, and rub her back, and clean up any stains where she hadn’t gotten to the toilet bowl on time. Though she told him he was crazy, he relished every moment of it. This was what he had missed beforehand. If anything, it tugged at his heart to remember that she had done this alone all those years ago. It would be awful of him not to be as involved as he was.

“God, I’m so lucky.” He’d said, the night that Trixie and Brian had returned. The couple were lying in bed, almost half-asleep until he’d spoken.

Sharon had smiled. “Why’s that?”

“It’s amazing.” Justin told her. “I have all the joy of a beautiful grown up daughter, and life-changing experience of raising a baby, and the most breathtaking wife I could ever imagine. As far as luck goes, I’ve got it all.”

At that, Sharon had blushed, even though it was hard to tell in the fading light of dusk. She’d curled up closer to him, guiding his hand towards her tummy as she lay her head on his shoulder.

“Three months… Wow. I couldn’t have predicted this if I tried.”

“Oh yeah?” Justin teased

“Yeah!” Sharon laughed. “You and me? Marriage? A baby? Twenty years ago, maybe, but now? It feels like a fever dream.”

Justin grinned. “I can assure you that you’re awake, doll. I’ve had to pinch myself every morning since I got here and you’re still here, so it has to be real.”

For the most part, Sharon seemed okay with his enthusiasm. He appreciated that she’d done this before, and knew a lot more than he did, but she seemed to be letting him fumble and learn and try to protect her anyway. Thankfully, she wasn’t too shy to let him know when he was being too much, and her stubbornness had helped to ensure that everything stayed the way she wanted it.

It wasn’t all too often that Justin was right over Sharon, and he wasn’t sure he liked it.

“You’re such a worrier! You’re just like Trixie, a little fusspot. I’m fine, pumpkin. I can handle myself.” She told him, shaking her head affectionately.

“But the repairs are gonna take at least the next few days. I don’t wanna leave you on your own-”

Sharon cut him off with an open palm. “Justin! I’m not gonna be alone, you know that. I have Trixie, Brian if I need him, and anyone else I can intimidate into helping me. I’m only holding down the fort, I’ve been doing this for well over a decade.”

Justin conceded; she was right, after all. Every time he glanced down at the bump, he felt an urge to sweep her up and protect her, but he knew inside she’d hate to be bubble-wrapped and treated like she was fragile. This was Sharon, after all.

So he headed off towards the back of the hotel, where one of the buildings had seen the roof collapse entirely. Something to do with rain, he had been told - rotting wood and the weight of the water had caused it to cave in. It would take a while, but it needed to be done and there was no way he would let Sharon do it.

Well, that wasn’t strictly true. She was amazing at handiness and repairs, like she was amazing at everything. It just so happened that cooking and cleaning was amongst the skills that Justin wasn’t so good at, and Sharon’s guests didn’t deserve food poisoning. It made more sense for her to relax and take the easier jobs that he couldn’t do.

Over at the hotel courtyard, Sharon was mentally ticking off the list of jobs she needed to complete. The laundry had been taken down and folded into a basket, ready to be sorted and reused. Breakfast was done, and she was in the middle of serving it. There wasn’t a lot else to do, besides taking in any late arrivals. Maybe she could check her o-mails, or whatever they were called. Willam had set her an account up, and she was finding it quite fun to talk to him all the way in LA.

“Alright, two sausages, one egg and some beans for you…” Sharon stacked the plates along her arms, grinning at the young group of vacationers. University students, she guessed. “Traditional Greek salad… pain au chocolat… and some toast! Hope this is good enough!”

Ever since being put online - or was it on the line? She still wasn’t sure - Sharon had seen a surge in the amount of guests. Not too many, yes, but young people on gap years had begun to show up, having learnt of their whereabouts from the Internet. It was definitely brilliant for business.

“You know, I don’t understand why this place isn’t like, a five star booming business. It’s so nice here! So quiet!” One of the girls said.

Sharon smiled at her. “You’re sweet, thank you. No one really knows we’re here, we’ve just scraped by over the years. It’s nice to see new people.”

Another member of the group nodded. “I’ve been texting all my friends telling them that they have to come here. It’s not expensive and yet it’s worth, like, triple the price. This place is amazing!”

 

“Texting, that’s like o-mail, right? They’re similar?”

 

The group laughed. One girl volunteered, “Uh, it’s email… But yeah! Come look.”

Within minutes, the girls had pulled up a chair for her, and were scrolling through their phones, showing her bits and bobs she’d never remember. Texting was easy enough, but she didn’t understand some of it. Instant gram seemed confusing, as did Snapped Chat. Still, she had a lot of fun experimenting.

A little more time had passed than she’d anticipated, laughing with her new guests. It was only when she caught sight of the time, on tiny numbers on top of somebody’s screen, that she realized.

“Shit! My new arrivals were dropped off ten minutes ago! I’m the worst host…” She sprang up from her seat. “Sorry, ladies, it’s been really fun with your Twe- Twi- Twitter, but I gotta dash-”

Before she could go any farther than the centre of the courtyard, Brian appeared up the steps, leading the group of tourists with him.

“No worries, Sharon, I got them. Ladies and gents, this is Sharon, the hotel’s superwoman and owner. If you need anything at all - new towels, bedsheets, a friendly chat, advice on where to go, she’s your woman.” He introduced her, grinning the entire time.

Sharon swatted at him, before pulling him into a quick hug. “Yeah, sorry guys, it’s a little crazy. If you want to follow Brian to our new reception desk so you can sign in and sort your booking, I’ll be right there.”

Under Brian’s control, they headed out, many of them admiring her hotel as they went by. Sharon felt a feeling of pride sweeping through her. It had been hard, yes, and it had taken a lot of work, but she really had something to be proud of. Against all odds, she’d raised a child and managed to run a successful business. The payoff was so worth it.

One of the new guests hadn’t followed Brian, she was stood behind, where she had been at the back of the group. Sharon turned, about to ask the woman if she needed assistance, when all the blood drained from her face, and she stumbled.

“Sharon.”

Everything about her was what Sharon had sworn she would never have to look at again. Loose but smart clothing, telling of somebody who knew the climate well. Christ’s cross hung on a chain of silver around her neck. The same brown hair, though greyer than Sharon had last seen it, in the same twisted bun.

“No. You’re not here, I know you’re not. I’m imagining this.”

Sharon could see this very face in her mind, clear as day, yelling ‘I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU IN MY HOME AGAIN!’ at her. She remembered those same blue eyes looking at her with disgust, not love, and the way those same thin lips had pursed and curled. She remembered being pregnant and scared and cursing herself that somehow, twenty years later, the situation was exactly the same.

“Y-You’re trembling…” One of the young girls reached out to try and steady Sharon, but she only stumbled back further.

“God, she’s as white as a sheet…”

Unable to see straight, Sharon rubbed her temples, trying to make the black spots go away. It didn’t work.

“This isn’t happening.” Sharon said firmly, sure that if she believed it hard enough, it would be true. “You’re not…”

—

“SHARON FAINTED! COME QUICK!” Someone yelled.

“What?!” Both Trixie and Justin yelled in unison.

Bored with having nothing to do, Trixie had spent her time with Justin, helping him with some of the roof repairing. She’d learnt a thing or two from her mom - just enough to be a useful asset.

“She fainted? Fuck, I knew something like this would happen. Quick, come on Trix.” Justin breathed, dropping his tools as fast as she could.

Trixie bit her lip. “Should we just leave all this?”

“Yeah.” Justin decided, his face grim and marked with sweat. “Fuck the repairs, she needs us. We gotta go.”

“You’re right.” Trixie agreed, sprinting as fast she could alongside Justin. Sharon had been there for Trixie her entire life, and would continue to be. The least Trixie could do was be there for her.

As she ran, her heart pounded with fear. She knew logically that her mom would probably be fine, but the worry still had encased her chest in its icy cold fist. Sharon had never fainted before, especially not out of the blue. It was well known that she wasn’t shaken easily. Besides, she was pregnant. Even if she was fine, they needed to check on the baby. Trixie poured on the speed, thinking of her tiny sister or brother and her mom all at once.

“There you are!” Brian gasped, the messenger stood next to him, panting. “I… I don’t know what happened. I didn’t see it.”

 

All of the new guests, along with the current ones, were gathered in a circle around Sharon, who lay across three chairs in the courtyard. Trixie shoved past them, noticing Justin doing the same.

“I… I didn’t want to risk moving her too much, so I just put her here.” Brian explained, looking distressed. Trixie placed a calming hand on his back.

“Okay, that’s okay. Mom, I don’t know if you can hear me, but you’re gonna be fine.” She spoke quietly, her lips close to Sharon’s ear. Nearby, she could hear Justin taking control of the situation, making everybody clear off and go back to their vacation. The last thing they needed, or even wanted, was everyone gawking.

“Ma’am, that includes you. I know everyone is concerned but I can assure you her family are going to take care-” Justin was saying.

She looked up as he was cut off by the remaining guest.

“I’m her mother, and I should be here too.”

Trixie didn’t have time to make the connection in her head before she was freaking out. She knew this woman; they’d been sat next to one another on the plane. Her name was Joan, and she hadn’t seen it before but she really did bear an uncanny resemblance to…

“You need to go.” Trixie said, forcing urgency into her shaky voice. “You caused this. Get out!”

Joan squeezed her eyes shut, as though she were in pain. “I need to speak with my daughter, when she wakes up.”

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that twenty years ago when she needed you. She doesn’t need you anymore.” Trixie replied curtly.

Justin sniffed haughtily in agreement. “She won’t speak to you. She has more respect for herself than that.”

“I know.” Joan said. Not once did she attempt to defend herself. “I have to talk to her, though. You said it so yourself, Trixie. There’s no way you can receive forgiveness without asking for it. No matter how scary, you have to try.”

Trixie scowled. “That was before I knew you were my grandma, the woman who made my mom’s life an unnecessary hell! You could’ve changed everything. I could’ve grown up with enough food on the table and a mom who wasn’t overworked to the breaking point. But I didn’t, because of you.”

“I know.” Joan said again. “I’m ashamed. But with the passing of her father, there’s no one left.”

Justin looked livid, far angrier than Trixie had ever imagined he could be. His eyes were fire, his jaw clenched as though he was exerting an extreme amount of control. Judging by his white knuckles, he was.

“She doesn’t have no one. She has a beautiful, intelligent daughter. She has a husband. She has a baby on the way. She doesn’t need you.”

“I need her.” Joan replied simply. “I’ve been awful to her, but a wise young woman who was raised by the most resilient person I know told me that I had to at least try. My husband’s dying wish was for us to have some kind of relationship after so many years apart. He wanted me to seek her out because he knew he didn’t have long enough left to do so himself. I’ll allow you to think on it, as I need to go to my room. Please, if she awakes, let me have one moment with her. That’s all I ask.”

With a deep sigh, Joan turned and walked away slowly. Trixie watched her back until she was gone, her chest heaving up and down with repressed anger.

“I don’t like this. Not one fucking bit.” Justin spat.

“Me neither.” Trixie agreed. “Why the fuck should she be allowed to waltz in after twenty one years of nothing?!”

Brian rubbed her hand gently, soothing her. “As someone who isn’t technically affiliated with Sharon in any way… I’m kinda looking at this objectively. Sharon’s mom wants to reconcile with her estranged daughter. This could be a chance to apologise and reunite, couldn’t it?”

“But twenty one years, Brian! Why now?”

Brian shrugged. “It’s as good a time as any, really. In a non-biased way, surely it’s better to apologise after two decades rather than never apologising at all?”

Neither Trixie nor Justin could formulate an answer. They didn’t even have a chance to try, as Sharon began to stir.

“I d-don’t know what happened, I-I was just stood up and then-” She spoke quickly, sounded disorientated. “What’s going on?”

Justin was the first one to her side, kissing her cheek and placing his hand on top of hers, resting on the bump. His concern was so genuine and tender that Trixie squeezed Brian closer to her, touched by it.

“You’re okay, baby. Just relax for a moment, before we delve into-”

Sharon bolted upright, moving so quick that both Trixie and Justin flinched back in surprise. Her face twisted into an expression of pure dismay, and she rested her head in her hands.

“Oh, god… she’s here, isn’t she? She’s really here.”

Unable to hear her mom sounding so dejected, Trixie knelt besides Justin. She had to try and cheer her up somehow.

“It’s alright, mom. It’s not a huge deal, right?” She tried. “I was- I was sat by her on our flight back. I never would’ve known…”

Sharon scowled. “I’ll bet she fucking knew. Fuck, Trix, I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Trixie was confused.

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel.” Sharon murmured. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why she’s here.”

The more Sharon spoke, worrying herself about the sudden arrival of her mother, the more Trixie started to come around to Brian’s idea. Truthfully, she didn’t think Joan deserved a chance to talk things out with her daughter, not after so long, but there wasn’t much else that they could do about it. Surely, she reasoned to herself, getting closure would be better than leaving things open ended like before. Speaking softly in order to try and keep the situation calm, Trixie expressed her thoughts. Justin pursed his lips.

“After everything she did?” He exclaimed. “I shouldn’t have left, but the least she could’ve done was looked after you. I didn’t know. She did.”

Sharon sighed heavily. “I know what you’re getting at, Trix, and you too, Brian, but… I don’t think you understand how scary this is for me. The last time I saw that woman’s face, I was eighteen years old, three months pregnant and not sure what my future would be. I’m in the exact same situation right now, just older.”

In a way, Trixie could understand it. She’d already been rejected once. She wasn’t sure if she could handle it a second time.

Brian cleared his throat. “Sharon, if you don’t mind… Again, I’m the outsider here. I’m not really part of this family.”

He waved off Trixie and Sharon’s attempts to reassure him that he was indeed a part of the family, and always would be.

“The way I look at it… yes, it’s been a long time, and yes, she fucked up bad. But she’s here now, in your home. She can’t reject you or hurt you here. All around her is the evidence of your success. You’re happily married, you have one and half kids - your life is something to be proud of. Make her see that. Let her be sorry.”

Sharon nodded fractionally, like she was afraid to agree. “I-I guess it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?”

—

The past few months of Trixie’s life had seen more change than she had ever thought possible, and she loved it.

Her mom, for the first time in twenty years, was speaking to Joan. It was clear from the get-go that no matter what, the relationship would be tense and strained and awkward, but they were at least trying. Sharon had made it clear that she didn’t want her mom back in her life, and Joan was perfectly understanding, but they had talked. Talking was a good start.

From what she’d been told, Sharon had caught her up on everything that had happened, from the day she was kicked out until now. She had said her goodbyes to her mom at her dad’s funeral, feeling much more confident in her decision with the support of her family. Though the damage couldn’t be undone, the air was clear. A building weight of twenty years had been lifted.

Secondly, she’d watched excitedly as her life transformed around her. A baby sister, the doctor had said. Somewhere inside the bump, sleeping soundly, a tiny baby sister was waiting to meet her family, and Trixie couldn’t wait to see her. Hours and hours of her free time outside of the hotel were spent perusing shelves of clothing, fawning endlessly over little pink dresses and shoes and blankets.

Though related, the last and biggest change was the arrival of her sister.

Trixie remembered wondering how one tiny human could look so beautiful. She was a perfect porcelain doll, too pink and precious to be a real baby. As she was swaddled into a warm bundle of white blankets, blinking her big blue eyes at the world in front of her, Trixie swore she felt her heart doubling in size.

A lot of things had happened in Trixie’s life, with many differing opinions on them all. But one thing that everyone could agree on was that Aquaria was the perfect name.


End file.
